Random Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race
by TotalDramaFan14
Summary: After waning ratings, the producers decide to shake things up with a new show, mostly new cast, and... a new host? Join Don and twenty four teams of two as they race around the world for one million dollars. [SPIN-OFF OF THE RANDOM DRAMA SERIES]
1. None Down, Twenty-Four to Go Part One

**Author's Note:** This is it Randomverse fans! The first episode of the Ridonculous Race. This will feature 17 and a half of the canon teams, with one being swapped for another and six other teams added. There will also be an undetermined as of right now number of pairings.

I can confirm Nemma though. But that one's obvious.

Thursday will be the premeire of Random Drama Danger Island, then the second episode of the Race, then the second episode of Danger Island, and so on and so forth.

Now let's get ready for... The Ridonculous Race!

* * *

**Episode 01: None Down, Twenty-Four to Go Part One**

The episode began with the show's title card, a circle composed of various European flags on a blue background; the words 'TOTAL DRAMA' on the top row, 'PRESENTS:' under that, 'THE' on the next row, 'RIDONCULOUS' on a black bar in the middle of the circle, and 'RACE' underneath the bar.

Dramatic music began to play as a man, sounding completely different than Chris with a deeper voice, began to narrate. "This is Toronto," he said over a shot of the city's skyline A flock of birds flew past the CN Tower. "Capital of North America. Birthplace of funk," the shot zoomed in on a fancy yacht sailing down the rive carrying a large white panther, "where the albino panther roams free." The panther roared.

The shot cut to the man speaking. He was a white man who appeared to be in his forties. He jaw was square, and his chin was cleft. His sandy brown hair was done up in a spike. He wore a pale green jacket over a white shirt and blue jeans. "Under my manly size thirteen brogues," he gestured below him, and the camera zoomed out to show he was standing on the roof of a train station, "twenty-four teams are arriving at this historic train site to embark," the shot cut to a shot of the Earth in space, a yellow line shooting from eastern Canada and flying around the globe, "around the world."

The shot zoomed in on Eastern Canada and flashed back to the man. "I'm your host," he explained, pointing a thumb at himself. "_Don_. And this is..." the camera zoomed in for a close-up, "The _Ridonculous Race_!" He raised one eyebrow, lowered the other, and flashed a smile so white it served as the flash that transitioned to the opening sequence.

**XXXXX**

(Opening Sequence)

**XXXXX**

"Welcome to the Ridonculous Race," Don said as the episode resumed to a shot of the train station, the dramatic tune from earlier playing again. The camera flashed to street level, where Don was walking past a large white man with receding blonde hair.

"Right now twenty-four teams from across the country are readying themselves to embark on a race to the _death_," he stopped and raised his arms dramatically, only for a harsh static in his ear to make him wince. He brought a hand to his ear and squinted and the music stopped. "_Not _to the death?" he asked the voice on the other side of his apparent earpiece. "Okay."

The music began again as he brought his attention toward the camera. "Let's meet the teams who _aren't_," he winked, "racing to the death."

\

The scene flashed to two people in their late teens as a touching and almost romantic theme began to play. The boy on the left was of Asian descent, his jet black hair in a spiky updo, not unlike Don's and he wore a light green shirt with light blue trimmings and a picture of a standard power button over a long sleeve cream shirt. As he was reading a book, he didn't notice the girl on the right gazing at him with a furious blush on her cheeks. She was a white girl, shorter than her partner with wavy blonde hair and wearing a blue-ish green sweater and blue jeans.

"Carrie and Devin," Don introduced. "Best Friends," the boy finally noticed the girl looking at him and smiled, causing her to grin sheepishly and look away.

XXX

"I met Devin in the sandbox and we haven't spent a day apart since," the girl explained as the shot cut to this show's confessional, the team sitting together in front of a map of the world; the girl was on the left and the boy was on the right.

On the bottom left corner of the screen a green bar displaying the words 'CARRIE & DEVIN' on one row with 'BEST FRIENDS' underneath that, told the audience both who was who as well as the name their team would be referred to officially.

"If anyone can win this race," Carrie continued, "it's us!"

"Yeah," Devin chimed in with a smile. "I know Carrie so well," he chuckled and she leaned over to gaze at him again. "It's like we're..." he noticed her gazing again and trailed off. "Wh-wha-wh-what're you doing?" he asked.

Her eyes widened in fear. "Lint check!" she said suddenly, ripping off a piece of lint from his shirt. "For the camera," she laughed awkwardly as a music turned competitive. "Woohoo! Race!"

XXX

The scene cut to the next team and the music returned to it's original intensity with a slight undercurrent of guitar notes from another Fresh TV show; another pair of people in their late teens, the one on the left was a African Canadian with brown hair that was a mixture of dreadlocks and an afro wearing a long-sleeve dark maroon sweater with a white undershirt, brown cargo pants and listening to music on a mp3 player. The one on the right was a short white girl wearing pink butterfly clip in her blonde hair hair, a pink top, a royal blue skirt, and pink high heels and was reading a fashion magazine.

"Wyatt and Caitlin," Don introduced. "A couple of Mallrats."

XXX

"Thanks so much for inviting me on this race," the girl said in their confessional sitting on the right, their identifier showing 'WYATT & CAITLIN' 'MALLRATS'.

"You're the best choice," Wyatt explained with a shrug. "Jen's too intense, Nikki's in Iqaluit, and Jonsey and Jude..."

"You know they're going to see this right?" Caitlin asked dryly.

"I stand by what I didn't say," Wyatt said with crossed arms.

XXX

The next team was shown; the person on the left was a middle aged blonde woman who's face looked like she'd had far too much plastic surgery and wearing a white track suit and the one the right being another girl in her late teens, with light brown hair and wearing a cream dress and black knee-high boots.

"Kelly and Taylor," Don introduced as the older woman applied lipstick and the younger one filed her nails, "Mom and Daughter."

XXX

TAYLOR & KELLY; MOM & DAUGHTER

"So 'A'," the one on the left, Taylor, said haughtily, waving her nail file around while her mother continued to apply lipstick, "I'm _really_ hot. Obviously. And 'B' I'm pretty much the best at everything I do. So unless my _mom_," she sent a quick glare to her mother, "messes things up, we're totally gonna win this race," she said while going back to filing.

"Taylor and her friends _love_ when I hang with them," Kelly said after putting away her cosmetics. "I'm known as the '_cool_ mom'," she laughed. "We're so tight, people always mistake us for sisters!"

Taylor was startled out of her nail filing. "Wait? What?"

XXX

"Emma and Kitty," Don introduced over a shot of an Asian Girl in her late teens posing for her cellphone camera. She wore a red sweater over a white long-sleeve button-up and a knee-length black skirt. Her hair was done int twin ponytails each held up by red bows.

"_Actual_ sisters," the host continued as the camera panned up to show an Asian woman in her early twenties with straight hair that falls to her waist and wearing a red jacket over a pink short sleeve shirt and grey capri pants. She scowled at her sister as she put up their things in their train compartment's overhead bin, then took her phone.

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EMMA & KITTY; SISTERS

"I'm studying International law," the girl on the left, Emma, said, "so that's gonna give us a real edge. And that's good, because we're here to win."

"And to see the world," Kitty said. "Have some fun, meet cute guys."

"_If_ there's time for that," Emma chimed in with a scowl. "Which there _won't_ be. So let's focus on winning okay?"

Kitty sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Good," Emma smiled.

XXX

"Crimson and Ennui," Don said as the camera panned up from the heavy boots of the next team, to the blood red pants of the boy on the left and blood red skirt of the girl on the right, to the blood red and black shirt with a logo of a crying circle of the boy and the blood red blouse and fishnet gloves of the girl, to their pale skin and his gold eyes and her red eyes, to the black and red hair of the boy and white and black hair of the girl.

"Two _exceptionally_ pale teens," Don finished as lightning flashed behind them.

XXX

ENNUI & CRIMSON; GOTHS

Neither teen said anything, they just stared at the camera as lightning flashed again.

"Okay that's just unnerving," Don commented.

XXX

The next team featured a couple of familiar faces, two boys in their late teens. The one on the right a bored looking Indian boy who's attention was focused solely on the book in his hands. He wore a red sweater vest over a dark teal polo shirt over a long-sleeved white undershirt, and khaki cargo shorts. The one on the left was a tall and lanky white boy with shaggy brown hair and wearing a yellow t-shirt with a caution sign on it and a pair of blue jeans.

"Noah and Malcolm," Don introduced, or rather reintroduced. "Two seasoned reality TV participants."

Malcolm opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by all the luggage in the overhead bin falling on him.

"That didn't take long," Noah commented.

"Happens all the time," Malcolm groaned.

XXX

NOAH & MALCOLM; REALITY TV PROS

"Noah and I met on Total Drama," Malcolm explained, "and we've been on tons of reality TV shows since then, like Meltdown Kitchen."

"Where he was burned after a pot of water caught fire," Noah chimed in.

"And Scare Tractor," Malcolm continued, ignoring his partner.

"Run over by the tractor," Noah said.

Malcolm sent him a quick but friendly glare. "And Fashionista Flip Flop."

"He didn't get hurt there," Noah said, "but I still don't know how you got on the show to begin with."

"But man, it feels great to be competing with you again," Malcolm said sincerely.

"Feeling's mutual Wile E.," Noah smiled. "If only Wadsworth were here too."

XXX

The seventh team was a pair of identical white boys with curly brown hair. The one on the left wore a light blue hoodie and a helmet. The one on the right was without a helmet and wore a blue hoodie.

"Mickey and Jay," Don introduced. "Identical twins who are used to overcoming adversity."

The boy on the left adjusted his helmet and the one on the right took a puff of an asthma inhaler, and both were crushed when their overhead bin dumped its contents on them.

XXX

JAY AND MICKEY; ADVERSITY TWINS

"We've both been through a lot," the boy on the right, Mickey, said as a sad violin tune began to play, "but we're not cursed. Whatever's right before cursed. That's us."

"Like when I was six I fell into a burrowing owl's nest and one of the baby owls flew into my ear," Jay explained, pointing to his left ear. "To this day, everything on this side just sounds like... 'hoo. hoo.'."

"We're constantly fighting adversity," Mickey said as confidently as he could. "And overcoming it."

"Sorry," Jay said, the music cutting off abruptly. "We gotta switch sides. You're just.. hoo hoo."

XXX

"The totally in love Daters," Don explained as the scene cut to the next team staring out the train window while a slow RnB tune played. The one on the left was a very very large and muscular college-aged man in a pink short-sleeve shirt featuring the logo of a man deadlifting a weight over his head and the much shorter girl on the left who'd shaved one side of her head and wore a fuchsia T-shirt and purple work out shorts.

"Ryan and Stephanie," Don introduced.

XXX

STEPHANIE & RYAN; DATERS

"Stephanie and I met at the gym a little over a year and a half ago," Ryan, on the right, told the confessional. "And we've been going steady ever since!"

"We're _so_ excited!" Stephanie said with her arms in the air. "Neither of us has _ever_ traveled before. There's so much to discover. Like, 'What do chocolate protein bars taste like in China'?"

"I was _just_ wonderin' that!" Ryan said in awe.

"No. Way." Stephanie said in awe herself.

The two gazed at each other for a moment, then promptly began to make out.

XXX

The footage skipped ahead to the train arriving at the station's fourth platform. The camera cutting to a square '4' sign before panning down and to the right to show the next team stepping off. It was another team of males, both in their mid-twenties. The one on the left was black and had a mass of dreadlocks that were tied back and resembling a ponytail. He wore a red, green, , black, and yellow, knit cap, and a black sweater with the Jamaican flag on it that was about two sizes too big for his average frame. The one on the right was a very skinny white man with shaggy brown hair, and long arms, wearing a plain green t-shirt with a white maple leaf on the front and red jeans.

"Rasta and Marley," Don introduced as the black boy took a deep breath and smiled, and the white boy pulled a slice of pizza from somewhere and ate it one gulp. "Two full-time slackers."

XXX

MARLEY & RASTA; SLACKERS

"Me an' Rasta have been friends since high school," the black boy, Marley, said in a thick Jamaican accent. "And what better way to celebrate such a long friendship dan a free trip around da world mon?"

"Like yeah," Rasta added in a raspy voice. "Plus, think of all the food we'll get to eat."

"Rasta mon," Marley chided. "Da race is about more dan da food. It's about da culture, da experience."

"The Chip Butty," Rasta interrupted, rubbing his stomach in anticipation while his friend's face fell. "Like I can't wait man!"

XXX

As the Slackers walked away, the tenth team stepped off the train. Or rather, they leapt off the train. A blonde man and a black haired woman, both appearing to be in their mid thirties. He wore a purple insulated jumpsuit and she wore a short dress in identical colors.

"Josee and Jacques," Don introduced as the smiled and waved for the camera. "Ice Dancers."

XXX

'JACQUES & JOSEE; ICE DANCERS'

"We _know_ 'ow to win!" the man, Jacques said confidently and in a Quebecer accent. "We've won gold ev'rywhere!"

"Except," Josee said, her tone slightly sour but still smiling, "the Olympics." Jacques looked at her with a concerned expression. "He dropped me so we only got silver," she explained.

"Oh!" Jacques cried, standing up and covering his eyes. "I don't want to talk about it!" He ran out of the room to his partner's shock.

"Jacques!" she cried out after him, then looked at the camera and smiled. "Silver is his least favorite color."

XXX

The next team was another group in their late teens. The one on the left was a black boy with shoulder length straight brown hair wearing a white shirt with a black treble clef logo, and carrying a trumpet case. The girl on the left had voluminous blonde hair and was wearing a purple shirt with tears in it and a pair of ripped blue jeans.

"Andrew and Elliot," Don introduced as the two slapped five. "Band Geeks."

XXX

ANDREW & ELLIOT; BAND GEEKS

"We've been in marching band, pep band, concert band. and jazz band every year since grade seven," the boy on the left, Andrew explained as he emptied his instrument's spit valve onto the floor. "You guys don't mind if I do that do you?"

"Music is our life," Elliot added in. "I mean, can you imagine the world without it? How would you teach the alphabet?!"

"And movies would be boring without it too," Andrew chimed in. He re assembled his trumpet and played a few brief notes of 'Vive La Cannadien'.

XXX

The background music turned into something a bit more energetic as the scene cut to the next team, only one of which was familiar. It was was a thin and somewhat muscular white boy with blonde hair and a cowboy hat, wearing an unbuttoned pink shirt and blue jean shorts. To his right; a Hispanic teen about the same age with short brown hair and a tattoo around his arm. He wore a pink tank top and purple jean shorts.

"Geoff and Brody," Don introduce. "Life long bros."

Geoff laughed. "Goin' on a trip around the world on someone else's dime. Sa-_weet_! What's up to all my Confused Bear Bros back home!"

XXX

BRODY & GEOFF; BROMANCE BROS

"I met some awesome people on Total Drama," Geoff, sitting on the right, explained. "But Brody didn't make the cut. So I get this call from a producer, and Boom!" he gestured around him. "Entrez, the Ridonculous Race."

Brody chuckled. "Yeah man," the two bumped fists. "The bros are in this for the long haul! GnB for the W I N!" They bumped their other fists.

XXX

Team number thirteen was a pair of familiar young white women. The one on the right had loose platinum blonde hair that fell to her shoulders and wore a white sundress with pale green floral designs on it. And the one on the left had a blonde ponytail. She wore baby blue hoodie and a pair of blue jean shorts.

"Bridgette and Angel," Don introduced as the girls smiled wide for the camera. "A couple of sickeningly sweethearts."

XXX

ANGEL & BRIDGETTE; SWEETHEARTS

"We met on Total Drama," Angel said with a wide smile. "And there was an instant connection."

Bridgette grinned at her girlfriend. "Then we did well enough to come back for an all-star season...," she frowned as she trailed off. "That one... didn't go as well."

"But I don't think anyone here's going to be like Matthew or Natasha," Angel said brightly. "I just can't wait to meet all these new people! We're all going to be such great friends!"

XXX

The scene moved to the front door of the train station opening to show the thirteen previously introduced teams in the doorway. "Right this way teams!" Don called out to them, the camera panning to the right to show him standing behind a chalk line. "Over here!"

A quick pan to the left showed the next team walking over to the host while a dramatic yet bumbling theme played. A dirty blonde middle aged white man in a plain yellow shirt and blue slacks, and a blonde preteen white boy wearing a red backwards baseball cap, black hoodie, and grey jeans.

"Dwayne and Dwayne Jr." Don introduced. "Father and Son."

XXX

JUNIOR & DWAYNE; FATHER & SON

"I spend a lot of time in the old office," the man, sitting on the right, said, "so this race is the perfect opportunity for Junior and I," he pinched his son's cheek much to the boy's annoyance, "to squeeze in a little father son bonding time." He chuckled. "Right kiddo?"

"Uh, sure dad," Junior said uncertainly. "Hey are there any other kids my age in this thing?" he asked while darting his eyes around.

"Oh!" Dwayne said suddenly. "Uh..."

XXX

The most energetic theme yet played over the next team shown, a black woman with short brown hair, rappelling down a brick building with a rope and a larger white woman with brown hair in a ponytail bursting out of a nearby window. Both were wearing the dark blue uniforms of law enforcement academy students, with the white woman wearing a cap.

"Sanders and MacArthur," Don introduced as the two women nodded at each other than ran off to the right. "Ambitious Police Cadets."

XXX

SANDERS & MACARTHUR; POLICE CADETS

"We're tough as nails," the white woman on the right, MacArthur, said, "and we'll go to the extreme to win this thing."

"Definitely," Sanders said with a confident grin. "As long as we don't break any international laws."

"I'm okay with breakin' a few," MacArthur shrugged, much to her partner's shock.

XXX

A tense theme played over the next team's arrival. Two boys, both about sixteen years old rolled on screen mid fight. The one currently on top was a large white boy with brown hair and the barest hints of a goatee, wearing a purple shirt with the logo of some sort of skull bat and dark purple cargo shorts. The one on the bottom was a skinny Italian boy with black hair and a small patch of facial hair, wearing a purple shirt with a game controller logo on it and blue jeans.

"Lorenzo and Chet," Don introduced over their fight. "_New_ stepbrothers."

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CHET AND LORENZO; STEPBROTHERS

"My dad married his mom last year," the Italian boy, on the right, explained, "but we still _hate_ each other." The two were scowling in their interview. "So they're makin' us do this. Jerks."

"Don't call my mom a jerk!" Chet yelled at him. "Jerk!" He shoved Lorenzo out of frame.

"Shut your wordhole!" Lorenzo got up and yelled back. "Jerk!" He shoved Chet out of frame.

Chet got up and tackled Lorenzo.

XXX

"Also racing," Don said as a glizty theme played over the next team's strutting on screen. A tall and skinny white man with stylish light brown hair wearing a long sleeve light blue shirt, a pair of glasses, and skinny jeans and a shorter tanned young woman with black hair tied into a ponytail and wearing alight blue blouse and short dark blue skirt with a pair of sunglasses perched on her head.

"Tom and Jen," Don introduced as the two shared a confident glance, "highly attractive fashion bloggers with _impeccable_ taste."

The tune played and the team strutted for a bit longer and Don said "I told you not to let the teams write their own cards."

XXX

JEN & TOM; FASHION BLOGGERS

"Hey hey to all our blog followers out there!" Jen, sitting on the left greeted. "Wish us luck!"

"I bet Jen we could win the race," Tom said with a smile, "but I didn't think she'd _actually_ take me up on it."

"I put my mind to something an it _happens_," Jen explained confidently with a snap of her fingers.

XXX

The music switched to a heavy metal guitar riff as the next team arrived. The one on the right was taller and thinner, with long blonde hair. He wore a purple short sleeve shirt with the logo of a frog's head with horns over a long sleeve pale blue undershirt with green jeans, a pair of large brown cowboy boots, and an orange bandana tied around his head. The one on the left was shorter and larger, with long curly brown hair wearing a pale blue jean vest over a similar purple shirt to his partner and blue jeans.

"Rock and Spud," Don introduced as the blonde one played an air guitar and the other one banged his head and made devil horns. "The Rockers."

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ROCK & SPUD; ROCKERS

"Spud wasn't too sure about doin' this," Rock, the blonde one sitting on the left, explained, "'cause he's not super fit or.. good at much of anything."

Spud nodded in agreement.

"Except _rockin' out_!" He played a brief mouth and air guitar. "So I said, 'You just rock bud. I'll _carry_ you!"

Spud banged his head and made devil horns as Rock continued his air and mouth guitar playing.

XXX

The last few notes of a familiar show played as the twentieth team was shown. Once again both were familiar to those who had watched Total Drama. The boy on the left was a shorter white boy. His longish brown hair was parted down the middle, and he wore a pale yellow polo shirt with single red and blue stripes over a longer gray undershirt. And the one on the right was a a young black man with a large belly and an even larger amount of hair. His blue-ish pants were held up by suspenders, and his gray shirt was slightly dirty.

"Cody and Bee-air-dough?" Don introduced as the two boys slapped five. "A couple of social outcasts."

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BEARDO & CODY; OUTCASTS

"Beardo and I met back on season four of Total Drama," Cody, sitting on the left, explained. "And we've been buds ever since."

Beardo made a dinging sound.

"And even though neither of us has ever won a reality show before," Cody continued, "I think we have a real shot at the money."

Beardo mimicked the victorious horn from a certain series of video games.

XXX

"Laurie and Miles," Don introduced over a shot of a Monarch butterfly landing on a white hand, the music changing to a relaxing flute tune.

"Granola loving hippie dippie friends," Don finished as the camera pulled out to show two young women standing in the middle of the road. The one one the left was white with freckles and waist length brown hair wearing a long sleeve pale yellow shirt that was a tad bit too big for her, a brown fringe jacket, pale blue bell bottom jeans, glasses, peace sign earrings, and a red bandanna tied around her head. The one on the right was biracial with freckles and brown dreadlocks. She wore a pale yellow crop top with a brown fringe jacket, a knit cap similar to Marley's, and high waist blue jeans.

The biracial girl held her arm out to stop traffic as the white girl gently let the butterfly free.

XXX

LAURIE & MILES; VEGANS

"We wanna win so we can donate the money to some of our favorite charities," the biracial girl sitting on the left explained. "Save the Hunchback Walrus," Miles continued as Laurie nodded eagerly, "Goatmilk Eco Warriors, People for the Ethical Treatment of Ants. So many great causes!"

XXX

The background music petered out and was replaced by a some high strung electric and mechanical sounds somewhat resembling music as the scene cut to a buss speeding away and revealing the next team. The one on the left was a young Indian woman with wavy brown hair, shorter than her partner and dressed smartly in a brown sweater over a white button-up and knee-length skirt and glasses. Her partner was a white woman with a very pronounced nose, slightly unkempt light brown hair, and wearing a pair of glasses, a gradient sweater that started off as brown at the top ended as white on the bottom and a grey stretch pants.

"Mary and Ellody," Don introduced. "Scientific geniuses who say that they will use their winnings to support the scientific community."

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MARY & ELLODY; GENIUSES

"Astrophysics is underfunded," the Indian girl sitting on the left, Ellody, informed. "Reality competition offers monetary prizes. Conundrum solved."

XXX

The Geniuses were still in frame when a taxi brought the next team to the starting line as a high energy sports tune began to play. The first one to get out of the car was a familiar face. He was a white boy in his late teens, square-jawed and with brown hair past his ears. He wore an all-red tracksuit with matching red sweatband. His partner got out shortly after. An Asian boy in his late teens with black hair that fell to his shoulders that had a streak of red in it. He wore an identical outfit to the first boy, minus the sweatband.

"Steven and Tyler," Don introduced. "Track stars and all-around jocks."

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TYLER & STEVEN; JOCKS

"Yeah, I survived two seasons of Total Drama," Tyler bragged as his partner on the right playfully rolled his eyes.

"But now that I got my teammate Steven with me! We're guaranteed the win!" He cheered. "This is gonna be _EXTREME_!"

XXX

Another fast pace guitar theme reminicent of a different Fresh TV show played as the penultimate team was shown. The one on the left was a dark skinned Caribbean boy with a mustard yellow unkempt and curly afro. He wore a blue tank top with shorts and brown flip flops. The one on the left was a slightly tanned and muscular boy with admittedly nice brown hair. He wore a black t-shirt with a wispy white design on it and a pair of blue jean shorts.

"Reef and Broseph," Don introduced. "Coworkers, buds, and surfers."

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BROSEPH & REEF; SURFER DUDES

"Reef, you told me this was a surfing tour," the Caribbean boy on the left said with a pointed look in his Bahamian accent. "This looks like a competition."

"Okay, so it _is_ a competition," Reef admitted with a placating gesture. "But not a _surfing_ one. It's just a little reality show. And you saw Total Drama. Surfers on reality TV get _all_ the hot girls."

Broseph sniffed, then smiled. "Okay dude. I'm in."

XXX

The music started off reverent as the final team was shown. Both were white men in their sixties. The one on the left had greying hair and a head that looked eerily similar to Total Drama's Chris McLean. He wore a yellow and orange trimmed polo shirt and white tennis shorts. His partner's hair was a much lighter shade of grey, and he wore a blue striped polo shirt with blue tennis shorts.

"And Gerry and Pete," Don introduced as the music quickly changed into something quirky and jazzy, "retired pro tennis players and friendly rivals."

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GERRY & PETE; TENNIS RIVALS

"We're both _very_ competitive," Gerry, the white haired man on the left, said, "but for half a mil each? Game on!" They chuckled.

"Maybe we'll get some new sponsors," Pete said. "Anyone need a pitch man for seniors' laxatives-"

"Call _his_ agent," the both said while pointing thumbs at each other before chuckling some more.

XXX

The music turned deep and intense again as the shot panned across all twenty four teams and the host. On the left; the Rockers, Stepbrothers, Police Cadets, Adversity Twins, Fashion Bloggers, Daters, Best Friends, Reality TV Pros, Goths, Mom and Daughter, Sweethearts, and Surfer Dudes. On the right; the Sisters, Tennis Rivals, Ice Dancers, Vegans, Bromance Bros, Geniuses, Outcasts, Father and Son, Jocks, Mallrats, Slackers, and Band Geeks with Don in between both groups.

"Welcome contestants!" he greeted to the fourty-eight racers. "This is the starting line for your twenty-six part race around the world." The camera cut to the host's close-up. Each part ends at a 'Chill Zone'," he explained as the shot cut to a somewhat luxurious setting in the middle of the desert. There was a small tent with fluffy looking couches under it, lights were strung across the palm trees that littered the area, and a golden circular rug under an umbrella with a table holding a pitcher of water nearby.

"Get there fast," Don continued. "Because the last team to stand on the Carpet of Completion," the music spiked as the shot zoomed in on the rug, "May be cut from the competition." The scene briefly cut to the worried glances of the teams on the right of the host.

"But the _first_ team to win our _last_ Chill Zone," the shot cut back to Don, "will win," the scene cut to a shot of the planet in space, "One! Million! Dollars!" With the sound of a slot machine's jackpot, the globe opened up at the equator and revealed the large pile of cash inside against a yellow sunburst background.

The shot cut to show close ups of the various teams as they all cheered.

"Look over here," Don said, regaining the attention of both the camera and the teams. The scene quick-panned to the host standing next to a miniature, cylindrical version of himself with a red button at the top. "_This_ is your Ridonculous Tip Box, also known as the Don Box," the camera panned up from the bottom of the tip box to the top.

"Press this button," the host's hand pointed to the red button on top of the Don Box, "to get the travel tips that will lead you," the scene cut to the world map as a yellow dot appeared in North America with a beep, "through the Ridonculous Race," another dot appeared in Eastern Europe with another beep, then another in Ethiopia, and again in the middle of South America and several more all over the map.

"Ready teams?" He asked as the Best Friends and Kelly got into a running position, Ennui behind them not seeming to care.

"On your marks!" Don said excitedly, raising his arms in the air. "Get set!" the music intensified as the shot cut to an angled close up of one of his fingers pointing in the air.

The music got even more tense as the Police Cadets were shown waiting for the signal in the top left quarter of the screen, then the Ice Dancers in the top right, Malcolm and Stephanie in the bottom left, and the apathetic Goths in the bottom right.

"Race!" Don announced, lowering his hand. The screen began to rumble and he quickly learned that standing directly in front of forty-eight people in a race for a million dollars was a very bad idea. "Watch the face!" he cried as he was engulfed by the swarm of teams. "Not the hair!" he cried again as he was knocked down. "Ahh!"

The screen split into thirds, with a white hand hitting the button the Don Box in the top left and top right, and a blue rectangular slip of paper shooting out of the box's 'mouth'.

The scene returned to normal to show the Bromance Bros, Ice Dancers, and Father and Son had made it to the box first. "Race on foot," Geoff said while catching his breath, "to the CN Tower." He and Brody took off.

"And find the Don Box," he paused to catch his breath and the Fashion Bloggers ran on screen, "to get you next tip." They ran off and Tom hit the button on the tip box.

The scene cut to Geoff and Brody jogging through the streets of Toronto just before Junior and Dwayne passed them. "There's the tower!" Junior called out.

"And 'ere comes the competition!" Jacques added, both he and Josee throwing their arms out wide as the ran for some reason.

"Huh?" Dwayne asked as the scene cut to him and his son. "Wher-" he turned back to look and ran into a trash can. He managed to right himself before he fell, but the can flew behind him and landed on top of the Ice Dancers, trapping them back to back.

"My bad," he called back, neither him nor Junior stopping.

"Whoa nasty," Geoff said as he and Brody approached the Ice Dancers. "Are you guys okay?"

In response the Ice Dancers stood up and tossed the can in the air, then ran off. Geoff and Brody looked up in astonishment... then got trapped when the can landed on them. "Go!" Geoff yelled, neither partner bothering to free themselves. The camera lingered just long enough to show the Police Cadets, Stepbrothers, Jocks, and Fashion Bloggers running after them, with Chet and Lorenzo slap fighting as they ran.

\

The scene cut to the bottom of the CN Tower just as Father and Son approached it. "There's the Don Box!" Dwayne called out, hitting the button and taking the tip as his son caught his breath.

"It's," Junior panted, "an Either-Or." Jacques and Josee lept over thier heads and the Don Box to take the next tip. "What's an Either-Or?"

Both teams were distracted by the Bromance Bros running into a pole, their vision being obstructed due to them still not removing the trash can.

\

"An Either-Or," Don explained as the shot cut to him somewhere inside the tower, "gives teams the choice of two challenges," the camera zoomed in as he held up two fingers.

"They _either_ climb one hundred and forty four flights of stairs," he continued as the camera panned up a narrow stairwell, "to reach the world's highest observation deck. That's just under a billion stairs."

"_Or_," he continued as the camera quick-panned up Don standing at the door to the stairwell at presumably the top floor as he walked over to an elavator shaft, "take the elevator and get the scare of a lifetime," the camera flashed again, this time to him outside in high winds judging by his blowing hair and the roar he had to speak over, "by performing a skywalk all the way around the tower.

"Not to worry though," he said with a grin, "they'll be wearing helmets." The shot cut out to show the entirety of the skywalk. "And as an _extra_ precaution," Don yelled due to being so far away from the camera, "we had a safety rail installed," the bottom rail on the tower fell off.

"Teams must finish either task," the host continued as the shot cut to him back inside the tower, "and find _this_ local guide," he walked over to a pale skinny white teen in what was clearly a uniform required to work in the building, "to receive their next tip."

\

A black skinned hand mashed the button on the Don Box.

"A hundred and forty-four flights of stairs?" Sanders asked as the camera cut to her and MacArthur glancing at their tip. Chet and Lorenzo were too busy fighting each other to actually read theirs, and Tom was looking at his with a blank expression. The Police Cadets ran off, and the Jocks were the next to arrive. "Yeah, we'll do Scares."

"Scares," Tom said.

"Scares!" Chet announced, letting go of the tip and letting Lorenzo fall to the ground. "Called it!"

"Stairs," Steven told his partner.

XXX

TYLER & STEVEN; JOCKS

"What Don calls a challenge," Steven bragged, "Coach calls punishment for showing up to practice late."

"Maybe you should stop being late to practice," Tyler suggested.

"Maybe Coach should stop having practice so early," Steven retorted with a shrug.

XXX

"First place!" Dwayne cheered as he and Junior entered the elevator. "Way to go Son! Give me a high five!" He went to slap five, but Junior ducked, leaving all of Dwayne's weight to slam against the elevator buttons and short out the panel. This in turned caused every button floor to be mashed.

"Whoops," Dwayne said sheepishly as his son glared at him.

XXX

DWAYNE & JUNIOR; FATHER AND SON

"For a skinny tower there sure are a lot of floors," Dwayne said.

XXX

Father and Son nonchalantly walked out of the elevator before it closed, and the camera cut to the left to show the Bromance Bros, Fashion Bloggers, Police Cadets, Surfer Dudes and Stepbrothers running to the shaft.

"Hey," Geoff asked as the shot cut to the teams in the cart. "Who pushed all the buttons?"

"Gotta take the stairs," MacArthur declared, and everyone save for Sanders and the Fashion Bloggers ran out.

"Or we could just wait," Sanders tried to say, only to be scared into action by a gruff 'Hustle' from her partner.

"Meh," Jen shrugged as Tom looked at her. "This'll probably still be faster."

\

"Anyone asks, we chose Stairs," Dwayne told his son as the scene cut to them in the stairwell. "It was always stairs." They were followed by the Jocks and the Adversity Twins.

"While Father and Son, the Jocks, and the Adversity Twins commit to climbing the unconscionable number of stairs," the camera spent about five second quick-panning up the stairwell, the the scene shrank into a box on the left side of the screen with the top of the CN Tower on the right, "more teams choose Scares."

The Tower grew and became the main scene, then the shot panned down to the bottom to show the Best Friends, Reality TV Pros, Slackers, Vegans, Rockers, Tennis Rivals, Mallrats, Geniuses, Outcasts, Sisters, Goths, and Band Geeks all waiting for the elevator. "But they're in for a long wait," the host finished.

\

A trendy tune started playing as the camera cut to the Fashion Bloggers the door to the elevator behind them.

"Hey hey hey fashion blog followers!" Jen greeted. "We would like to talk about today's fashion faux-pas, which is..." unbeknownst to them, the doors behind them opened to show an elderly man in overalls mopping the floor.

"Overalls," Tom said in a disgusted tone. "Ugh. Nasty." The man raised an offended eyebrow.

"I know right," Jen said, still unaware of their surroundings. "Like get with today."

\

The footage skipped ahead to show the Fashion Bloggers leaving the elevator as a slow tuba theme played. Tom had a mop on his head and Jen had her head stuck in a metal bucket. They removed the mop and bucket and looked around in confusion.

"I don't see any other teams," Jen said slowly before realization dawned on her. "We're in first place!" She squealed, much to the annoyance of the guide.

"Let's hit the skywalk and _strut_ all the way to the winner's circle," Tom suggested, strutting to the skywalk with a cheesy grin.

"We are _so_ the team to beat," Jen bragged.

The perspective changed to show the two staring out at the skywalk. "We have to walk out _here_?!" Jen asked in panic.

"Oh yes you do," Don's voice over answered. The camera cut to the outside of the tower and panned back out to show the Toronto skyline. "The Ridonculous Race will return."

\

(Commercial Break)

\

Tense music played as the episode resumed to a shot of the Bromance Bros and the Daters running up the stairwell. "Those who abandoned the elevator are in for a painful climb," Don said as they ran out of frame and the Ice Dancers, Jocks, Surfer Dudes, and Stepbrothers ran into it. "And frankly, that'll be more fun to watch."

"One the upside," Mickey said as the shot focused on him and his twin as their sad violin leitmotif played, "we're definitely not in last place." They hung their heads. "On the downside, that probably won't be true for long."

The tense music resumed over a shot of the already shown teams racing up the stairwell.

\

"Ugh!" Taylor groaned as the scene cut to them reaching the lobby of the tower. "Thanks for being _slow_," she admonished her mother while catching her breath. "Now we're in a race for last place," the shot cut to the other teams waiting for the elevator. "When we get home hire yourself a personal trainer."

Kelly gave the camera an uncomfortable look. "Great idea honey." She smiled, not at all out of breath.

"I _know_!" Taylor said bratilly. "That's why I thought of it!"

\

The scene cut back to the Adversity Twins and the Bromance Bros running up the stairs. "Sweet form guys," Geoff complimented. "Keep it up!"

"They seem nice," Mickey commented as Geoff and Brody passed them.

"No alliances," Jay told him. "Remember?"

XXX

JAY & MICKEY; ADVERSITY TWINS

"Jay doesn't think we should form any alliances," Mickey said as their leitmotif played.

"We're soft meat," Jay explained.

"_Really_ soft meat," Mickey added.

XXX

The scene cut to Sanders gagging while folded over a stair rail. "Thighs on fire," she groaned as MacArthur ran ahead. "So queasy,"

MacArthur jumped down from wherever she was and landed next to her partner,then hoisted her over her shoulder, eliciting a groan. "So you're one of those skinny fat people who can't climb ten flights of stairs without spewin' chunks?" She ran off with her partner over her shoulder. "What do you do? _Yoga_?"

\

The camera panned down the stairwell as Father and Son, the Bromance Bros, Adversity Twins, Ice Dancers, Jocks, Surfer Dudes, and Stepbrothers continued to run up it. "As most of the other teams continue to climb or wait," Don narrated as the scene cut to the teams still in the tower lobby, "... and wait," The camera focused on the Mallrats as Caitlin read a fashion magazine, "... and wait," Andrew was cleaning his trumpet, "... and wait some more," Crimson and Ennui just blinked rather slowly."

"The Fashion Bloggers are first to reach the observation deck," Don finished as the camera quick-panned back to the top of the tower, the wind still howling from outside. "But the scare, might be too much for them."

"We can't go out on that death walk!" Tom cried as he and Jen fearfully clung to each other. "I am fashionably svelte! The wind'll _blow me away_!"

The guide rolled his eyes.

\

Once again four different scenes were shown. On the top left, the light signalling the elevator was here.. The doors opened in the top right scene, the bottom left showed the feet of many of the teams running in, and the bottom right showed a white hand pressing the close door button repeatedly.

"With the return of the elevator," Don narrated, "the competition is heating up."

"Rude!" Taylor complained when the camera showed she and her mother didn't make it on in time.

"Hey," Malcolm said as he approached Beardo. "You're that beatbox guy from season four right?"

Beardo nodded.

"Great job man, you were one of my favorites," Malcolm said. "High five!"

Beardo shrugged, then slapped five with the boy.

XXX

BEARDO & CODY; OUTCASTS

"Uh," Beardo asked. "Did I just form an alliance?"

XXX

Tom gave a couple of quick sarcastic laughs as the guide held a box of helmets with an extremely irritated expression. "Helmets?" he asked. "Are you crazy? You want us to ruin our hair?" He crossed his arms and closed his eyes. "No. I did _not_ sign up for that."

"Plus those _really_ aren't in my color," Jen added somewhat sheepishly.

"They're not," Tom said bluntly. "Trust."

The guide gave a side eyed look to the camera.

\

"Doin' great bro!" Geoff told Brody as they passed by Junior and a tired looking Dwayne. "Our calves are gonna be so _toned_ after this!"

"Yeah man," Brody said. "We're gonna look like _Greek gods _from the knees down." They ran out of frame, and the camera lingered to show the Ice Dancers stop an wave to the camera.

"'Ello to all our fans!" Josee said happily and the both blew a kiss to the camera. "We love you!"

\

"Put me down!" Sanders complained as the camera cut to her close-up. "I can _do_ this!"

"I beg to differ Chicken Legs," MacArthur told her.

XXX

SANDERS & MACARTHUR; POLICE CADETS

"It's all in the glutes," MacArthur said as the music turned harsh. "I only use the stair machine at the gym," Sanders put her hands on her hips and glared at the camera, "so I'm basically eighty percent glutes at this point. They've taken over the rest of my body. "See this?" she flexed her arm. "It's glutes. It's all glutes."

XXX

The scene cut back to the Toronto skyline. "After an hour of stair climbing," Don narrated, "some of our contestants are _really_ losing it."

The scene cut to Lorenzo and Chet, both panting heavily. "If we come in last, it's your fault," Chet told his stepbrother. "Doofus."

"Hurry up and climb faster!" Lorenzo shot back. "Slowpoke!"

"Stop breathing on my back," Chet shot back in turn. "Sweatball!"

The camera cut to Jay and Mickey, the latter's face looking rather dazed as their leitmotif played. "Stay with me Mickey," Jay said encouragingly. "Eyes wide."

"It's okay Mommy," Mickey said softly, sweat pouring down his face, "I don't need a new elephant."

"This is why we don't visit a lot of skyscrapers," Jay deadpanned to the camera.

\

The scene cut back to the observation deck, where the elevator doors opened to show the Tennis Rivals, Vegans, Slackers, Geniuses, Goths, Best Friends, and Sisters.

"There's the skywalk!" Devin called out. "Come on!" the shot cut to him and Carrie grabbing helmets from the box and running off.

"Hold on!" Tom said as the rest of the teams arrived. "I need to make sure _my_ helmet is disinfected before we do this."

Ellody glared at him.

\

Devin let out a shout of panic as the shot cut back outside. "Oh man," he said, his words echoing as the perspective switched to behind him and Carrie looking out at an island airport.

"Okay," Carrie said encouragingly. "You've always wanted to conquer your fear of heights right?"

"I'm not scared of heights," Devin told her. "I'm scared of _falling_." The camera cut to the city below and zoomed out. "Big difference."

"Don't be scared," Carrie said as the shot cut to her leaning into him. "It's a TV competition. It's gotta be safe right?"

Almost as if in response, a bird landed on the fallen safety rail. Again, as if to emphasize just how wrong she was, the bird's minuscule weight was enough to send the rail falling towards the streets of Toronto.

"Whoa!" Carrie yelled, both of them now frozen in fear.

Gerry's laughter caught their attention, and the Tennis Rivals ran past them and out on the skywalk. "Now we're in the lead! Way to snooze chuckleheads!" he taunted.

"You can do this!" Carrie told her best friend, grabbing his hands. "I believe in you!"

"That makes one of us..." Devin said, glancing at the drop below.

The music became tense as the Tennis Rivals and Best Friends were shown inching their way along the skywalk. A raccoon holding an umbrella was blown past the latter team just as the former left the frame, causing them to stop and stare.

\

"Hold the elevator!" Beardo called out, him and Cody running to get in.

"Sorry," Taylor said rudely as she tried to close the doors, the Reality TV Pros, Band Geeks, Rockers, and Mallrats already inside. Fortunately for the Outcasts, Beardo and Cody were able to sneak inside the doors just before they closed.

The camera cut to the inside of the elevator where all the teams stewed in awkward silence.

\

The tense music returned as the scene changed to the skywalk. The Tennis Rivals were in the lead, followed by the Best Friends, Sisters, Fashion Bloggers - clinging tightly to one another - Vegans, and Slackers.

The camera cut to the Tennis Rivals holding their arms out in front of them to block the oncoming wind, only to be blown back a few feet behind the Best Friends.

"That's it!" Carrie said, holding Devin's hand and leading him since he had his eyes closed. "Just keep putting one foot in front of the other." She stopped and turned to face him. "I'm so proud of you Devin!"

He opened his eyes long enough to smile and say "I couldn't have done it without you pal!" She smiled and continued leading him down the skywalk as he whispered a mantra of 'Not going to die. Not going to die.'

They continued on, but the camera lingered long enough to show Emma walking ahead without her sister. She heard a camera click, and turned back with a scowl.

"This is so cool!" Kitty yelled, the camera cutting to show her at the very edge of the skywalk and taking selfies with her phone.

"Focus!" Emma yelled back. "This is life or death!"

"Come on!" Kitty protested. "Look at what we're doing. It's incredible!" She threw her arms out and leaned even further out. "I feel so alive!"

"Yeah," Emma deadpanned as she took her sister's hand. "I'll make sure they put that on your tombstone." She yanked Kitty away from the edge.

"Promise me you'll never let go!" Jen cried as the shot cut to them, her eyes closed as she clung to her friend.

"Oh, never," Tom agreed. "I can't believe people _pay_ to do this."

They continued on, and the camera lingered to catch the Vegans inching along. "We're doing this for _you_ Mother Earth!" Miles called out. "Don't kill us!"

"Oh man," Rasta cried as the shot cut to him and Marley. "I wish we'd taked the stairs right about now!"

\

"Comin' through!" MacArthur shouted as the shot cut to the Police Cadets and the Ice Dancers running through the stairwell. "Cadets for the win!"

"Not for _long_~!" Jacques called after them.

\

"The last elevator has arrived," Don narrated over a shot of the last elevator arriving. "But while those teams still have to take the dreaded skywalk," the camera cut to their feet running past a nondescript grey door, "teams who took the stairs are literally _leaping_ into the lead," the camera panned up to the door just in time to catch Jacques and Josee leaping out of it.

"First place!" Jacques cheered, both he and his partner dripping with sweat. As he caught his breath, the bored looking guide held up their travel tip. "Catch a flight with a zip, ride the line to your tip," he read. "Huh? Qu'est qui?"

\

"Teams must catch a flimsy zipline," Don explained over a shot of two ziplines leading from the observation deck to the previously seen island, "over Lake Ontario to this island airport," the camera panned to the left to the hangars on the island, "and snag their next tip along the way," the shot cut to a travel tip hanging from the zipline.

The shot cut to the end of the zip line, showing Don walking over to the several old mattresses had been placed around the landing area. "The line was tested this morning by our intern, who ironically is also named Andrew."

The shot cut to a baseball cap with the show's logo floating in the water. "Condolences again to his family," Don said lowly and quickly.

\

The music turned dramatic as Jacques and Josee slid in front of the ziplines in a pose, then jumped and grabbed the zipline's t-bar. The camera followed them as the zipped down the line, and Josee grabbed the tip. "Yes!" Jacques cheered, his face in a close up. "Go Team Canada! Yes!" his cheer echoed across the lake as the perspective switched back to normal.

\

"Oh man!" Devin cheered as he and Carrie ran back inside the observation deck. "Thank goodness.

Pete wasn't far behind, but something crunched when he took a step and he crumpled to the ground. "Ow!" he screamed as his partner finished the skywalk. "My artificial knee just gave out!"

XXX

GERRY & PETE; TENNIS RIVALS

"I gotta say, agreeing to do this show was a great idea," Pete said chipperly a jazzy tune playing in the background. "We've been through way tought battles than these kids. So what if the other teams have more drive, or zing, or ambition, or blind optimism... or..." his expression was getting noticeably less chipper as he spoke.

"This show was a terrible idea," he finished.

XXX

The door to the stairwell opened to reveal the Police Cadets, MacArthur still carrying Sanders. "Finally," Sanders said.

"Yep," MacArthur agreed, dropping her partner without a second thought. "Now it's your turn to carry me."

"What?" Sanders asked.

"Hah," MacArthur barked out a laugh. "I'm joking. You couldn't carry a loaf of bread!"

XXX

SANDERS & MACARTHUR; POLICE CADETS

"Looks like a lot of teams are dealing with some dead weight," MacArthur commented.

Sanders let out an offended gasp and put her hands on her hips. "Are you referring to me?"

MacArthur just smiled at the camera.

XXX

"Zipline?!" Carrie asked as the shot cut to her and Devin reading their tip. "I've always wanted to do that!" The camera panned to the right to show the Tennis Rivals.

"Zipline?!" Gerry asked. "I _never_ wanted to do that!"

\

The shot cut to Don at the end of the zipline just as Jacques and Josee landed gracefully. "Thank you! We love you!" Josee said to no one as they smiled and waved at the camera. "Merci!"

"Wh- who are you waving to?" Don asked in confusion. "There's no one here."

"Our fans," the Ice Dancers answered, still waving.

XXX

JACQUES & JOSEE; ICE DANCERS

"Our fans give us the love and energy we need to perform under extreme pressure," Josee told the camera. "Without them my partner Jacques would never be able to overcome his _many_ faults."

Jacques stopped smiling and glanced at his partner. "Um why do you say many like that?"

"You know why," she told him, still smiling.

XXX

Josee held up the tip for Jacques to read. "Huh?" he said in confusion before leaning his head down. "Book two seats on the next flight to Morocco."

\

"There are _three_ flights heading for Morocco," Don explained as he walked down the airport's runway, "departing thirty minutes apart."

"Teams who arrive on the first flight," he continued as the camera cut to the Ice Dancers getting their plane tickets from a well dressed balding half-Asian man, "have the distinct advantage of arriving first." He handed them their tickets, and Josee garbed them with a smile, then they leapt out of frame much to the man's confusion.

"Teams on the the last flight," he continued as the shot cut back to him," should probably question why they even entered this race because wow. Really?"

XXX

ANGEL & BRIDGETTE; SWEETHEARTS

"Both times we competed we kinda got the short end of the stick," Bridgette told the camera. "But this time is gonna be different."

"We're a great team," Angel added with a soft look toward her girlfriend. "And if we _do_ lose, it'll be because of we made a mistake, not because somebody messed with us."

XXX

The scene skipped ahead to Carrie grabbing the tip. Devin was holding the T-bar with both hands and Carrie was sitting in his lap. "We did it!" Devin cheered. "You are the _best_!" he told her, causing her to giggle and blush.

XXX

DEVIN & CARRIE; BEST FRIENDS

"I _had_ to do the race with Carrie," Devin told the camera. "She's smart, fast, determined," he counted off, causing her to sigh wistfully.

"And my girlfriend Shelley was busy," he finished. Carrie's face fell.

XXX

"Need a hand?" Gerry asked with a smirk as he and Pete rode the zipline. He pushed his partner, and Pete fell into the water screaming.

"That was for Wimbledon '77!" Gerry called out. He grabbed the tip with both hands. "Gotcha!" he cheered before he too fell into the lake. "Aw dang it!"

\

The camera cut back to the skywalk, where Angel was moving forward at a faster rate than she wanted judging by her look of panic. "Bridgette?" she asked the wind picking her up and carrying her to the right. "Heeeeeeelp!

"Angel!" Bridgette cried in alarm, running past the startled Reality TV Pros, Vegans, Slackers, Fashion Bloggers, and Sisters.

She reached out a hand and grabbed her girlfriend, then grabbed the exit to the sky walk with her other hand, effectively saving Angel.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Angel screamed in terror as the camera cut to a close-up of her face.

XXX

ANGEL & BRIDGETTE; SWEETHEARTS

"Maybe this race wasn't a good idea," Angel said warily, both girls' hair sticking in every direction.

"Maybe," Bridgette agreed.

XXX

The heavy guitar theme played as the shot cut to Rock and Spud at the start of the skywalk. "Dude, check this out," Rock told his partner. He spit in the air, and the wind blew the glob back and into Spud's face.

Rock chuckled as Spud glared at him. "Sorry man."

XXX

ROCK & SPUD; ROCKERS

"The wind was howlin' like," Rock said, "Woooosh. And the spit whipped his face like, plbt! And then there was this bird and it was like Rawk! Rawk!"

XXX

"First one to get the tip grabs the top bunk back at our dorm room," MacArthur challenged as the shot cut to the Police Cadets at the top of the zipline.

"I already have the top bunk," Sanders told her smugly, her hands on her hips.

MacArthur's eyes narrowed. "Not for long."

The scene skipped ahead to them on the zipline as MacArthur let out a "Whoo!"

\

The camera cut to the door to the stairwell as Brody and Geoff walked out with a smile. "We did it man!" Suddenly he screamed and dropped to the floor, much to his partner's shock.

"Ah my calves! My calves!" he cried while holding he leg. Dwayne and Junior finished climbing the stairs shortly after.

"Good," Dwayne panted as his son ran ahead, "good job son."

"Extreme!" Tyler cheered, he and Steven the next team to finish climbing the the stairs and tun to get their tip.

"We did it Baby!" Stephanie cheered as she and Ryan were the next to finish.

"Whoa," Ryan said sparing the Bromance Bros a quick glance. "Watch your step Sweetcheeks," he told her, lifting her and carrying her by his flexed bicep.

"Mm," Stephanie grunted. "I _love_ it when you get all gentleman-like."

\

"We made it!" Angel cheered as she and Bridgette finished the skywalk.

Mary and Ellody were the next to finish, and they were covered with splattered bugs.

"Well that was illuminating," Ellody deadpanned. Mary spat something out of her mouth, and a fly buzzed away from the two.

XXX

MARY & ELLODY; GENIUSES

"Based on the splatter, the wind velocity was," Ellody said then paused for a moment, "forty-five knots."

"Twenty more and _we'd_ be splattered," Mary said.

XXX

The footage skipped ahead to the Best Friends, landing on the ground at the end of the zipline and reading their tip. "Morocco?!" the both said excitedly, then gasped and said "Woohoo!" simultaneously.

They ran off with a shared laugh, and Don watched them pass with a smile.

The camera followed the Police Cadets as Sanders snagged the tip and cheered.

\

The camera cut to the end of the skywalk as the Rockers, Band Geeks, and Goths finished. "Rock n' Roll!" Rock cheered.

"Leg cramp!" Brody cried as the shot cut to him still on the ground.

"Come on bro," Geoff told him on as he continued to groan. "Pant it out, let me hear it."

The Stepbrothers finished the stair climb, seemingly too tired to insult each other. They were followed by the Surfer Dudes.

"As more teams reach the tarmac and get seats on flights one and two," Don narrated over the Sisters, Geniuses, Sweethearts, Vegans, Slackers, Father and Son, Fashion Bloggers, Mom and Daughter, Outcasts, Mallrats, and Daters on the zipline; the camera panned to the end, where Noah and Malcolm landed on the tarmac with the former on top of the latter, "the race to _not_ come in last intensifies," Don finished, reaching his upper body into the shot.

\

The shot cut back to the door to the stairs, where Brody was still on the ground and Jay was pulling Mickey by the leg. "Almost there Mickey," Jay said. "Stay with me."

"I am a dainty princess," Mickey sang to himself.

"Come on bro we gotta move!" Geoff said, grabbing Brody's arm and dragging him.

"Potassium!" Brody cried. "Need potassium!"

"Does anybody have a banana?!" Geoff asked desperately as he reached the guide. The young man gave him a confused look.

\

"Way to go Elliot!" Andrew cheered as the shot cut to the Band Geeks on the zipline, the tip in Elliot's hands.

The landed on the mattress, but before they could get up, Geoff and Brody landed on them. "Sorry," he told them. "Thanks for breakin' our fall dudes." He read the tip in his hands and gasped. "Morocco? Sweet!"

The Bromance Bros got up and ran to the airport, but before the Band Geeks could get up, the Adversity Twins landed on them. "Whoa," Mickey said. "I can't believe we did it." He noticed Andrew and Elliot under them and said "Oops. Sorry."

"Take the next flight to Morocco," Jay read. "Come on!" Jay said, getting up and running.

"Yay," Mickey said unenthusiastically. "Flying."

"The teams have arrived," Don narrated over the dripping wet Tennis Rivals running to the airport. "And the flights have been booked.

\

The scene cut to the show's world map, a green rectangular box was drawn around near the Toronto area and that section of the map was enlarged to show three yellow plane icons next to a grey hangar.

"Flight number one," the furthest left plane turned orange, "will contain Father and Son," a circular icon showing Dwayne and Junior against a blue background appeared in the top far left, "Best Friends," Carrie and Devin against a pale green background showed up in the top middle left, "Sweethearts," Angel and Bridgette against a lavender background in the top middle right, "Daters," Ryan and Stephanie against a plum background in the top far right, "Jocks," Steven and Tyler against a red background in the bottom far left, "Police Cadets," Sanders and MacArthur against a pale blue background in the bottom middle left, "Ice Dancers," Jacques and Josee against a pale purple background in the bottom middle right, "and the Reality TV Pros," Malcolm and Noah appeared against a saturated blue background in the bottom far right.

"Flight number two," the team icons disappeared and the furthest left plane switched back to yellow as the middle plane turned orange, "carries the Sisters," a circular icon showing Emma and Kitty against a pale red background appeared in the top far left, "Vegans," Laurie and Miles against a yellow background showed up in the top middle left, "Mallrats," Wyatt and Caitlin against a saturated purple background in the top middle right, "Slackers," Rasta and Marley against a green background in the top far right, "Fashion Bloggers," Tom and Jen against a teal background in the bottom far left, "Mom and Daughter," Kelly and Taylor against a cream background in the bottom middle left, "Rockers," Rock and Spud against a purple background in the bottom middle right, "and Geniuses," Ellody and Mary appeared against a sickly green background in the bottom far right.

"And flight number three," the team icons disappeared and the middle plane switched back to yellow as the furthest right plane turned orange, "has the Band Geeks," a circular icon showing Andrew and Elliot against a white background appeared in the top far left, "Goths," Crimson and Ennui against a saturated red background showed up in the top middle left, "Surfer Dudes," Reef and Broseph against a saturated yellow background in the top middle right, "Bromance Bros," Geoff and Brody against a pale pink background in the top far right, "Adversity Twins," Mickey and Jay against a baby blue background in the bottom far left, "Outcasts," Beardo and Cody against a grey background in the bottom middle left, "Stepbrothers," Lorenzo and Chet against a saturated plum background in the bottom middle right, "and the Tennis Rivals," Pete and Gerry appeared against an orange background in the bottom far right.

\

The shot cut back to the tarmac, Don walking into view. "Who will win the first leg of our race? Tune in to find out!" He declared, raising a finger in the air. "The Ridonculous Race is..."

"...to be continued!" He raised one eyebrow, lowered the other, and flashed a smile so white it served as the flash that transitioned to the credits.

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note Post Script:** Whew. That was a bit more than I was expecting. Maybe adding all those other teams wasn't the best idea. But I'm here now, and I'll see it through. I have a general idea on how I want this to go, but I'll dedicate the bulk of this note to the differences and added teams.

_Surfer Dudes:_ I'll be honest, my dad's the reason I added them. We were talking one day and he mentioned how he'd like to see Reef and Broseph be on the show if they did a future season.

_Reality TV Pros:_ Noah's obviously the same, but I went with Maclolm as Owen's replacement due to me imagining Owen and Malcolm having the same voice actor.

_Bromance Bros:_ With Reef and Broseph here, I couldn't very well call Geoff and Brody the Surfer Dudes, so I went with their pre-production title.

_Outcasts:_ Cody and Beardo were one of my favorite friendships, and at the time I had no other second generation campers in the race. Even after I added Angel and Bridgette, I still kept them on because I like them so much.

_Mallrats:_ Another 'what-if' scenario my dad brought up. Of course his choice was Jonsey and Jude, but I felt them too similar to the Surfers, Rockers, and Bros. That's not even going into the Slackers. So I went with Wyatt and Caitlin, who I shamelessly admit were my favorites. Also, I'm kicking around the idea of shipping Caitlin and Jen. Let me know what you think.

_Slackers:_ Of the original characters for this spin-off, these are my favorites. Rasta's based on Shaggy from Scooby-Doo and Marley is based on Mordacai from Regular Show.

_Jocks:_ Tyler, Tyler, Tyler. World Tour showed me just how much fun this guy is and I couldn't bear to let him go. So I gave him a bud from home and let him compete in the race. Both Jocks will get a relationship before the end of the show.

_Sweethearts:_ This was going to be an original team that found themselves in conflict with the Ice Dancer, but I remembered how I completely screwed over these girls both times they competed. If they don't win, because I still haven't planned that far ahead, I know the other teams won't have anything to do with their elimination.

_Band Geeks:_ I'm a band geek, so one of the teams had to be as well.

Now for who I imagine voices each original racer:

_**Andrew:**_ JD from Scrubs

_**Elliot:**_ Elliot from Scrubs

_**Marley:**_ Ernie from Shark Tale

_**Rasta:**_Shaggy from Scooby-Doo

_**Steven:**_ Harold from Harold and Kumar

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14


	2. None Down, Twenty-Four to go Part Two

**Author's Note:** And we're here for the first elimination of the spin-off. Not much to say, so let's dive in.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

_**Nicky Haugh:**_ Thanks.

_**Phenomenal Ultra Instinct:**_ Yeah, I'm starting to see that now, but hopefully everything will work out in the end.

_**Derick Lindsey:**_ I announced the Outcast during the All-Stars finale. If I can find the right time, and figure out how to do it, I can definitely see some Geoff/ Bridgette friendship. Well I do have plans for Tyler and Noah. Cody is... I'm not sure really. I have ideas, but I can't really discuss them. Less non-eliminations was pretty much the reason I added the extra teams. Well, there are some teams that could stand to have very little screen time. Mainly I changed the Daters' intro because them being that lovey-dovey after only two monthe made me really hate them. There are significant changes to the Best Friends' plot this time.

_**Tempokeep:**_ Thanks! I figured adding in more Total Drama contestants would get people more excited about this undertaking. I mean, I know I only watched canon because of Owen and Noah. And I said in the Author's not last chapter that Nemma is definitely a thing.

_**Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ Thanks! Shaking things up was the plan.. and also the point of the whole series. Cody And Beardo were my faves from the second generation.

_**TheChrisanthemum:**_ As per usual, your premier reviews as always contain quite a bit that I can't comment on, but I really hope you enjoy what I have in store for your favorites. But I will say that they're very interesting.

_**WeirdAlfan101:**_ Is it bad that I completely forgot about Tammy? Oh well, I'll just have to give her a reference in Danger Island.

_**StarHeart Specials:**_ I had some free time last weekend and could get out two chapters. Thanks for that correction with the Vegans. Not really sure how I missed that. All I can say about Malcolm's reaction is that he won't think Noah's dying. I'm glad you like Caitlin and Wyatt. I used to watch 6teen on either Netflix or Hulu. Can't find it anywhere now though. Caitlin's inability to keep a boyfriend was actually why I came up with the idea. Why else would she keep dumping guys?

_**That British Guy:**_ I'm looking forward to this season. It's not really stupid. I wound up typing Owen's name like five times.

_**Red Rain:**_ Thanks! I'm glad you like the OC's and the teams as a whole, and I can't wait to get through this season. It's just so busy.

_**Remaining Teams:**_

_**Adversity Twins:**_ Jay and Mickey, _**Band Geeks:**_ Andrew and Elliot, _**Best Friends:**_ Carrie and Devin, _**Bromance Bros:**_ Brody and Geoff, _**Daters:**_ Ryan and Stephanie, _**Fashion Bloggers:**_ Jen and Tom, _**Father and Son:**_ Dwayne and Junior, _**Geniuses:**_ Ellody and Mary, _**Goths:**_ Crimson and Ennui, _**Ice Dancers:**_ Jacques and Josee, _**Jocks:**_ Steven and Tyler, _**Mallrats:**_ Caitlin and Wyatt, _**Mom and Daughter:**_ Kelly and Taylor, _**Outcasts:**_ Beardo and Cody, _**Police Cadets:**_ MacArthur and Sanders, _**Reality TV Pros:**_ Malcolm and Noah, _**Rockers:**_ Rock and Spud, _**Sisters:**_ Emma and Kitty, _**Slackers:**_ Marley and Rasta, _**Stepbrothers:**_ Chet and Lorenzo, _**Surfer Dudes:**_ Broseph and Reef, _**Sweethearts:**_ Angel and Bridgette, _**Tennis Rivals:**_ Gerry and Pete, _**Vegans:**_ Laurie and Miles

Just stew it...

* * *

**Episode 02: None Down Twenty-Four to Go Part Two**

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race," Don said over the show's title card before the montage began with him being run over by the twenty-four teams, "Twenty-four teams started a race around the world," he continued over a shot of the series's world map.

"After a lot of running," Father and Son and the Bromance Bros were shown running to the first Don Box, "waiting," Sanders protested as MacArthur, The Ice Dancers, Stepbrothers, and Surfer Dudes left the elevator in search of the stairs, "even more running, confronting fears," Carrie encouraged Devin on the skywalk, "and pushing themselves further than I thought possible," Bridgette saved Angel from a freak wind, "everyone reached the airport and booked themselves on three different flights," the Sisters, Geniuses, Sweethearts, Vegans, Slackers, Father and Son, Fashion Bloggers, Mom and Daughter, Outcasts, Mallrats, and Daters were shown on the zipline, then the Tennis Rivals arriving at the airport, "to Morocco," the montage ended with a shot of a passenger plane in flight.

"Flight number one with eight teams," Don continued as the shot cut to the Ice Dancers in their seats, then cut to the Best Friends and panned to the right to show Father and Son and the Reality TV Pros, "has already departed."

"The next eight teams are on flight number two," Don continued over a panning shot showing the Sisters, Vegans, Mallrats, and Fashion Bloggers, then cut to another panning shot showing the Slackers, Mom and Daughter, Rockers, and Geniuses.

"Meanwhile, the Goths, Band Geeks," the shot cut to the two teams in the airport, "Adversity Twins, Surfer Dudes," the shot cut to Jay and Mickey, then panned to the right to show Reef and Broseph, "Outcasts, Bromance Bros, Stepbrothers, and Tennis Rivals' flight," the camera cut to the four teams, Pete checking his watch, "won't depart for another _hour_," Don finished as the camera panned up and to the left to show a wall clock.

"Will one of these teams suffer the ultimate reality show humiliation and get kicked off first?" Don asked as he stepped into the shot. "Time to find out!" He declared excitedly. "This is," the camera zoomed in for a close-up, "The _Ridonculous Race_!" He raised one eyebrow, lowered the other, and flashed a smile so white it served as the flash that transitioned to the opening sequence.

**XXXXX**

[Unlike the opening sequence of Total Drama, the opening sequence for The Ridonculous Race is instrumental. The intro begins with an overview of the Earth before a hand holding a Travel Tip appears. The camera zooms in, revealing the silhouettes of all twenty-four teams running in three rows: the top row held from left to right the Fashion Bloggers, Mallrats, Adversity Twins, Rockers, Vegans, Slackers, Tennis Rivals, and Jocks running to the right against a blue city street background; the second row had from left to right Father and Son, Police Cadets, Goths, Sweethearts, Daters, Sisters, Bromance Bros, and Surfer Dudes running to the left against a golden desert background; and the bottom row held from left to right the Best Friends, Geniuses, Outcasts, Ice Dancers, Stepbrothers, Band Geeks, Mom and Daughter, and the Reality TV Pros running to the right against a green jungle background . The scene shifts to a map of the world, showing the visited countries being highlighted by yellow dots. The camera zooms in on one of those dots and it becomes the background as three postcards depicting the inside of a fancy restaurant, a beautiful and nondescript beach, and the Parisian skyline are 'thrown' onto it. A Travel Tip then cuts the scene into three sections, each showing the silhouette of a different mode of transportation that are used throughout the race; a train aganst a gold background, a plane against a blue sky background, and a bus against a green background all three heading to the right. A taxi stops by and opens its door as the camera zooms in, showing pictures of all twenty-four teams each appearing during one of the ending flourish of notes. In the end, the scene cuts to the main logo of the Ridonculous Race with a plane that flies across the screen, spinning the N.

**XXXXX**

Dramatic music played as the episode opened up to a shot of the series's world map. "Sixteen teams are already on their way to Morocco," Don narrated as the northwest coast of Africa has highlighted and two plane icons were shown heading to a yellow dot there.

"But _eight_ are still at the airport, awaiting anxiously," he continued over a shot of a luggage cart driving along the tarmac of the airport from the last episode.

\

The camera flashed to a clear bottle with bubbles on the label as the Adversity Twins' leitmotif played. "sanitizer?" Mickey asked.

"No need," Jay answered as the shot cut out to show them both, "I made a point of not touching _any_thing. Juice?" he offered a red box with the image of a cherry on it, oven mitts on his hands.

"Hey guys!" Andrew said, suddenly popping out from behind the chairs the Twins were sitting on and startling them. "So, we were thinking that our two teams form an alliance..." he elbowed Jay and waggled his eyebrows as Elliot walked over with a friendly smile. "What'd'ya say?"

"Sorry," Jay said as he stood up and walked away.

"We're not looking for an alliance right now," Mickey added as he followed his twin.

\

"You're plan won't work Mom!" Chet said into a pay phone as the camera cut to him. "We're not gonna become _friends_!" The voice on the other end spoke. "Because Lorenzo is a _poo_-head. That's why! Can't you just divorce his dad?" he whined.

"Hey is that my dad?" Lorenzo asked desperately as he stuck his head in the shot.

"No," Chet told him. "It's my mom."

"_Daaaad_!" Lorenzo yelled after taking the receiver out of his stepbrother's hands. "You gotta divorce Chet's mom!"

Chet gave him a hateful glare and snatched the receiver back. "Quit it! Mom!" he whined as Lorenzo moved to grab the receiver and the two began a tug-of-war.

"_Daaad_!" Lorenzo whined.

\

"So you guys are into that whole gothic stuff huh?" Andrew asked as the camera cut to the Band Geeks standing next to Ennui and Crimson. "Yeah, we get it. So how about we form an alliance?" he asked not so subtly.

"I can show you the guitar solo I learned from the new Zombie Crusher album," Elliot added in a confident tone.

"You can't say no to that?" Andrew smiled. "Can you?" he added in a slightly more nervous tone.

The goths just sighed and walked away.

"Huh," Elliot said. "I really thought they'd say yes."

"Maybe it's us?" Andrew shrugged.

Elliot gave an audible shrug in response.

XXX

ELLIOT & ANDREW; BAND GEEKS

"Me and Elliot met in beginner band back in grade six," Andrew explained. "And we've been buds ever since, even _after_ she betrayed me," he added with a playful glare.

"Oh hush," his partner smiled. "I started as a trumpet player before switching to percussion," she explained to the camera.

"It was the biggest betrayal since Benedict Arnold," Andrew said in a serious tone, though he was obviously joking.

XXX

The scene cut to the Moroccan flag. "Morocco!" Don narrated as a postcard of a camel and a distant city slid into view. "Originally named Italy," he said as he walked into view inside the postcard, "until it was discovered there already _was_ an Italy."

"Home to _scorchingly_ hot foods," the image of numerous burlap sacks all filled with powders of various colors slid into view from the right, "as well as _scorchingly_ hot deserts," the image of a mass of cacti and the bright sun slid into view from the top."

"Flight number one has just landed," Don narrated as the footage of a plane landing at a airport runway in the desert slid into view from the bottom. "Now the teams need to find the Don Box," he continued, the shot cutting to him next to the tip box just outside the airport's entrance, "and collect their next travel tip.

He walked away, and the camera panned to the right to show the Ice Dancers, Police Cadets, Jocks, Best Friends, Father and Son, Daters, Sweethearts, and Reality TV Pros running out of the building. 'Hur-ry!~' 'Run' '_Extreme_!' Dwayne, Carrie, and Tyler could all be heard saying.

Jacques mashed the button on the Don Box, and grabbed the first tip of the day. "The Spice is Right," he read as the camera cut to all the teams from the first plane reading their tips. He gasped. "It's an 'All-in'!"

\

A mystical middle-eastern tune began to play. "An 'All-in'," Don explained as the scene flashed to him walking toward a vendor's cart that was surrounded by the same bags and powder seen earlier in the episode, "requires that both team members take part in the challenge. In this case, teams must make their way to Yussef's Spice Kiosk," the camera cut to a square jawed Moroccan man wearing a fez, "and chose five spices from the blistering array," the shot panned across the spices surrounding the cart.

"Some are," the host reached out to touch one of the spices, but had his hand slapped away by Yussef, "_OW_!" the shot pulled back to show Don rubbing his hand while Yussef shook a disapproving finger, "some are sweet, but some are so blistering hot that they'll turn you tummy into a volcano of pain."

\

"It says," the music turned intense as the camera cut to Devin reading a travel tip while Carrie gazed at him nearby, "pick five spices from the kiosk. Ideally, cumin, cinnamon-"

"-paprika," the scene cut to Dwayne and Junior mid sentence, "saffron and ginger-"

"- to receive your next travel tip," Malcolm finished as the shot cut to him and Noah. Both TV pros looked up in shock, just in time to see the other seven teams from the first flight trample them in search of a taxi.

The scene split into thirds: the left side showed a white cab with an arrow pointing to the right, the middle showed the lights on a yellow cab turning on with a ding, and the left side showed a the rear tires of a blue cab as it sped away.

The shot returned to normal as seven taxis drove of with squealing tires, and Malcolm's scratched hand rose up from where he and his partner were trampled. "Taxi!" he called out woozily.

\

"Yeah!" Dwayne cheered as the shot cut to him and Junior inside their taxi, "right into a taxi and headed for Spice Town!" he added while raising his arms in the air. Junior hung his head in embarrassment.

"We're doin' great! Huh pal?" he asked while grabbing his son into a hug.

Junior just groaned.

XXX

JUNIOR AND DWAYNE; FATHER AND SON

"I'm Dwayne, this is Dwayne Junior," Dwayne introduced in their interview.

"They already know Dad," Junior told him.

"We're a father and son team," Dwayne continued.

"They know that too Dad," Junior said with a roll of his eyes.

"Well," the father chuckled. "We're gonna _win_ this thing! Bet you they didn't know that!" Junior sent an unamused look toward the camera. "This just in Father and Son team win the million!" He made an applause sound with his mouth and Junior gave the camera a worried glance.

XXX

The scene cut to a blue taxi speeding along before cutting inside to show the Daters. "I know a _lot_ about spices," Stephanie said proudly. "I eat them in restaurants."

"She does," Ryan chimed in pridefully before looking toward his girlfriend as they're leitmotif began to play. "You do, and I _love_ that you know about them."

Stephanie gasped. "I _love_ that you love it!"

The two began making out.

\

The shot cut to a white taxi before moving inside to show the Sweethearts. "I'm so excited for this challenge!" Angel cheered, earning a loving smile from Bridgette.

"I'm just glad these challenges seem less dangerous than the ones on Total Drama," Bridgette said.

\

The scene flashed to the inside of the Reality TV Pros' cab, where Malcolm was applying a bandage to his arm. "Haven't been trampled in a while," he mused to the camera. "So that was interesting."

"Agree to disagree," Noah said dryly.

"Ah don't be such a spoilsport," the pain magnet said brightly. "I've got a good feeling about this race."

\

"Man, I'm sure glad to be back on solid ground," Tyler said as the scene flashed to him and Steven in their cab. "I'm not scared of flying, but Total Drama World Tour made me _reeeeaallly _aware of how something could go wrong in the air."

"There's a big difference there Dude," Steven laughed. "_These_ aren't the private planes of a cheap egomaniac."

Tyler laughed. "Good point bro."

\

"Meanwhile," Don narrated as the scene cut to a passenger plan in flight, "the teams on flight two prepare for cold-hearted battle.

"Oh I'd look _so_ good in that," Jen said as the shot cut to her reading a magazine. She furrowed her brow at the sound of snoring, and looked over to see Tom wearing a neck pillow and sleep mask with the image of a pair of glasses. She pursed her lips, and stood up, the camera lingering in position so the audience couldn't see what she was doing.

She sat down with a satisfied smirk, and the camera cut to Tom, now wearing an oxygen mask that muffled his snoring.

A giggle caught her attention, and she looked across the isle to see Caitlin reading a a magazine next to an oxygen masked Wyatt. "Great minds think alike huh?" Caitlin said, causing Jen to bark out a laugh.

\

The scene cut to Rock and Spud eating sandwiches in their seats, the former looking nervous. "Spud and I have never been on a plane before," he explained as their leitmotif played. "Not scared though," he added, "I've seen _lots_ of planes on TV."

"Uh," Spud said dully, gaining the camera's attention. "Oh yeah! I love that cartoon," he smiled.

\

"Some of the teams from flight one have reached the spice kiosk," Don narrated in a low voice as the scene cut to a trio of taxis speeding away from Yussef's cart. The Ice Dancers, Police Cadets, Sweethearts, Daters, and Best Friends ran to Yussef.

"Hey," MacArthur said in confusion. "These aren't labeled. Why aren't they labeled?" she asked as the camera panned across the spices.

A white hand pointed at one of them. "It's this one!" Carrie exclaimed, the shot cutting to Devin giving her an amused smile. "This is cinnamon! This is cinnamon! This is cinnamon!"

XXX

DEVIN AND CARRIE; BEST FRIENDS

"Cinnamon," Devin said while looking rather panicked. "Cinnamon, cinnamon, cinnamon!" Carrie pushed against his chest with a blush and they both laughed.

"You totally would've missed that homie," she told him.

Devin laughed, "We call each other 'homie'," he explained before turning his attention to his partner. "And as _if_ I would've missed it."

"_I'm_ the one who lives for cinnamon lattes," Carrie bragged.

"Yeah," he laughed. "And you constantly spill them on _me_."

"Fair enough," Carrie chuckled. "I'll never doubt your ability to detect cinnamon again."

XXX

The music turned deep and tense as the scene cut to Stephanie sniffing one of the spices. "Wait," she said, "that's cumin. Yes!" she said as Yussef went to scoop the spice. "Uh, no," she second guessed herself. "Wait! Yes! No!"

Yussef gave the camera a dry look before Stephanie suddenly yelled "Scoop it!" into his face, startling him.

A quick montage was shown; MacArthur, Devin, Josee, and Bridgette were shown picking spices, then three shots of Yuseff scooping spices into small sacks, and finally Jacques choosing a spice and receiving a sack with a travel tip attached to it. "That's five," he said confidently to a triumphant tune.

"After selecting five spices," Don narrated as the shot cut to the Daters and Best Friends with their tips, "the teams get their next travel tip from Yussef," he finished as the Police Cadets were shown collecting their tip.

Jacques gasped. "We have to ride to a restaurant in the desert. On a _camel_!"

The scene quick panned to twenty-four camels loitering near some palm trees. All were swarmed with flies, and one of them spat onto the road.

"Is there a restaurant around here?" Sanders asked as the Best Friends, Sweethearts, and Daters rand to their camels in the foreground. She received no answer.

\

The footage skipped ahead to the five teams on their camels making their way through the desert. The Police Cadets were in front, followed by the Best Friends, Sweethearts, Daters, and the Ice Dancers brought up the rear. The first four teams all looked to be having a hard time with the heat, but the Jacques was standing on one leg while holding Josee up by the flat of her belly with on hand.

"Gross," Carrie complained as the scene cut to her and Devin in a close-up. "Man do these camels stink."

The camera panned to the right to show MacArthur sniffing her armpit. She widened her eyes, and nervously looked around. "She's right!" she called out forcefully. "It's the camels."

"As the first teams head off into the desert," Don narrated over a shot of the five teams once again, "Flight number two arrives in Morocco," he finished as the scene cut to the Sisters, Vegans, Mallrats, Fashion Bloggers, Slackers, Mom and Daughter, Rockers, and Geniuses dashing out of the airport.

A close up of Tom's hand mashing the button for the Don Box was shown, followed by Rasta and Marley climbing into a taxi. The camera pulled back to show six other taxis speed off along side it, and Taylor running after them. "Taxi!" she yelled, the camera lingering after she left the screen and Kelly running into it, "Hurry _up_ Mom!"

\

"Meanwhile," Don narrated over a shot of a plane in flight, "flight number three is finally in the air and teams discuss some strategy," the scene cut to Reef and Broseph in their seats.

"So, how about that Elliot chick?" Reef asked.

"She's got nice hair dude," Broseph said. "And she really knows her music."

"So who gets to get her?" Reef asked. The two boys narrowed their eyes, then started playing rock paper scissors.

\

"Uhh..." Malcolm trailed off as the scene flashed to him and Noah at Yussef's Spice Kiosk. The camera pulled back to show the Jocks and Father and Son were with them.

XXX

NOAH AND MALCOLM; REALITY TV PROS

"Two seasons of McLean have taught me to be _reeallllly_ careful when it comes to challenges," Malcolm said. "And my gut was telling me that it was important to chose the right spices."

XXX

"Dude, I don't know," Malcolm finally told his partner with a shrug. the other two teams sharing a look.

XXX

JUNIOR AND DWAYNE; FATHER AND SON

"It's not a man's job to know spices," Dwayne said as his son gave him an odd look. "In ancient times women were the spice collectors and men," he mimed holding a bow, "were the _hunters_!" He chuckled a bit as Junior gave the camera an apologetic glance.

"Those were the days," Dwayne continued. "Men had all the power and-"

"You know Mom's gonna see this in TV?" Junior interrupted. "Right?"

"-and times have changed," Dwayne finished without missing a beat. "For the better obviously."

XXX

"Oh no," Junior called out over a shot of the taxis from flight two arriving, "the other teams are coming! We're gonna lose our lead!"

The scene cut back to the spice cart. "Let's just pick out any five," Dwayne said with a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Same here," Tyler said as the shot cut to the Jocks and Reality TV Pros.

"Good plan," Noah agreed. "Just give us the five closest to you," he told Yussef.

Yussef glanced down nervously.

"Come on man, snap to it!" Noah commanded."We're in a race!"

"I _really_ don't think this is a good idea," Malcolm worried.

XXX

ELLODY AND MARY; GENIUSES

"We predict there is an eating element to the next challenge," Ellody told the camera as her team's leitmotif played, their interview in the Morrocan desert rather than the world map room.

"Therefore, picking the right spices is of the utmost importance," Mary finished.

XXX

"Cumin, cinnamon, saffron, paprika, ginger," Ellody, Laurie, and Rasta were heard saying as the camera cut to a close up of a spice with each word said.

"That was surprisingly elementary," Ellody bragged.

"I know right," Laurie agreed.

"Easy-peasy man," Rasta chimed in.

\

"As more teams reach the spice kiosk," Don narrated over the Slackers, Vegans, and Geniuses all leaving and the rest of the flight two teams arriving, "Flight number three has _finally_ arrived in Morocco," he finished over shots of a plane touching the tarmac in a landing, and one of its engines shutting down.

The scene skipped ahead to the Band Geeks, Goths, Surfer Dudes, Bromance Bros, Adversity Twins, Outcasts, Stepbrothers, and Tennis Rivals all leaving the airport. "They'll need to hurry if they wanna catch any of the teams in search of," the shot cut to a close-up of Sanders and MacArthur," the _culinary_," he finished as the camera pulled back to show the five teams in the lead.

The camera panned up to the sun, it's bight light momentarily taking over the camera and serving as the flash to the next scene.

\

The shot cut to the Reality TV Pros, Noah sweating and looking quite exhausted in the crane of the mount's neck and Malcolm not looking any better on the camel's hump, and Father and Son handling the heat much better than their mount. "Yah yah!" Dwayne said as he kept slapping the animal's flank. "Faster boy!"

"Dad?" Junior said warily as the camera focused on them. "I think the camel's going to pass out!"

"Not to worry son!" Dwayne told him. "Camel's are the ships of the desert. They're tireless!" he slapped its flank a couple more times and it let out a sickly groan, then collapsed.

Junior looked from the exhausted camel to his father. "Oh great," Dwayne complained. "We got a broken one."

\

"Last one," Emma pondered as the shot cut to her and Kitty alone at the spice kiosk. "Cumin... cumin..."

"I think it's this one," Kitty said, pointing at the closest bag to her. The scene briefly cut to a pair of taxis dropping off the Outcasts and Adversity Twins and back to the Sisters.

"Now's not the time for guessing games Kit!" Emma snipped at her. "Uh? I don't know. This one?" she said, pointing to a random orange spice and watching Yussef scoop it.

"So _you_ can guess but _I_ can't?" Kitty asked in mild offense.

"Mine is an _educated_ guess," Emma told her with a superior air. "Can you _not_ throw a temper tantrum right now?" She ran off, and the camera cut to Kitty's wide eyed look of shock. "Hurry _up_!" Emma yelled from off screen, prompting Kitty to follow after her sister.

The camera lingered to catch Jay leaning toward one of the spices and sniffing it. "Is _this _one cinnamon?" He sneezed, and the dust cloud took over the whole screen.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed to the same dust cloud from before, which dissipated as Jay and Mickey were heard coughing and wheezing.

"Apparently, we can't sniff spices," Jay said dryly.

"The last teams gather spices," Don narrated as the Band Geeks arrived and the Adversity Twins launched into another coughing and wheezing fit.

"'Sup?" Andrew said. "Got some spices for us?"

"But they've still got a long journey ahead of them," Don finished as the camera cut to Laurie and Miles slowly riding their camel through the desert.

XXX

MILES AND LAURIE; VEGANS

"Vegans get a lot of bad press in the media," Laurie explained, "We signed up for the race to change that. Take our camel Banafrit for instance. You'd probably think we wouldn't ride him because deserts are hot. But camels are meant for this type of climate."

"We're still going slowly though," Miles chimed in. "Just because they're considered tireless doesn't mean we can overwork them."

"I mean, the last thing you want in the desert is for you camel to pass out," Miles laughed.

XXX

ANDREW AND ELLIOT; BAND GEEKS

"So," Andrew started slowly in the desert, "we're in last place right now. But that's no reason to panic."

"Our taxi got a flat tire," Elliot explained offhandedly.

"And our taxi driver wasn't the best at fixing it," Andrew added. "But it's still anyone's game!"

XXX

The scene cut to someone lighting a fire on a stove under a rather ornate pot. "Things are heating up," Don narrated, "as the Cadets are the first to reach the desert restaurant," as he spoke, the camera pulled back to reveal Sanders and MacArthur arriving.

"There's the Don Box!" Sanders called out as she hopped off the camel and ran off screen. MacArthur groaned and fell off their mount.

She groaned again as the camera cut to a close-up, a harsh trilling tune in the background. "I can't take this heat," the shot cut to the sun. "Someone turn off the sun..."

Sanders mashed the button on the Don Box and got their tip. "It's a botch or watch," she read as MacArthur finally joined her, still not looking well. "Just Stew It."

"That's the challenge only one of us does right?" MacArthur asked.

"Okay," Sanders read as the shot cut to a close up of her handing the spices of to a Middle Eastern man wearing a gourmet chef's outfit. "Hand your spices over to the chef so he can add them," the spices were tossed into the pot, "to a bowl of Moroccan stew that one of you must eat," the chef happily stirred the pot.

MacArthur groaned as the shot cut to them. "I hope we picked right spices or this could get ugly fast."

"When you finish your stew," Sanders read, "Race on foot as fast as you can to the Chill Zone," the camera quick-panned to another stretch of desert and panned across its nothingness, "because-"

"- The last team to meet me _here_," Don finished Sanders's sentence as the shot cut to him at the Chill Zone seen in the previous episode, "_will_ be cut from the race."

The scene went back to the Police Cadets as the chef handed them their stew. "I can't do it," MacArthur groaned. "I'm sweatin' like a perp bein' questioned inside a hot dog cart."

"Okay gross," Sanders complained, taking the stew nonetheless. The music turned mysterious as they left and the Best Friends and Sweethearts arrived, then turned triumphant as the camera panned right to show the Ice Dancers.

"Okay Bun-Bun," Josee told the rabbit's foot she was holding. "Don't let us down."

XXX

JOSEE AND JACQUES; ICE DANCERS

"I'm not superstitious at all," Josee told the camera while still holding her rabbit's foot. "I just believe that this rabbit's foot is responsible for everything good in my life."

"Can I rub it?" Jacques asked.

She laughed playfully. "Of course you _can't_," she said much less playfully.

XXX

The scene moved to Junior sulking next to his team's camel as Dwayne tried to get the exhausted animal to get up. "Andrew look!" Elliot called out as she and Andrew rode their camel past the Father and Son. "We're not in last anymore!"

"Thanks for breaking your camel dudes!" Andrew called back after they left the frame.

"You're welcome!" Dwayne yelled back sarcastically.

The Band Geeks returned to focus as they came upon the Vegans. "Hey ladies," Andrew told them. "Good luck about those other guys amiright?"

Laurie and Miles shared a look, then shook their heads.

XXX

MILES AND LAURIE; VEGANS

"Miles and I became friends when we met at a Vegan Club meeting back in high school," Laurie told the camera.

"When Laurie kicked out a girl who suggested we just call them 'ings' instead of 'meet-ings' I knew we were gonna get along," Miles added.

XXX

"While the Band Geeks dig themselves out of last place," Don narrated as the camera panned left across the desert to show the Bromance Bros, Surfer Dudes, Geniuses, Jocks, Rockers, Sisters, Outcasts, Mom and Daughter, Fashion Bloggers, Adversity Twins and Daters in a pack, "the race for first heats up as more teams dive into the restaurant challenge."

Another four-way split screen was shown: Someone handing over their spices in the top left, the spices being added to the stew in the top right, the stew being stirred in the bottom left, and the the stew being handed back in the bottom right.

Carrie sighed wistfully as the shot cut to her watching her partner eat their stew. "Oh Devin..." She tensed up, and turned around with a blush on her face. "Uh," she said. "That. That was. I was just," she laughed nervously before sighing. "Okay I love him!" she said excitedly. "I've loved him since we were five and he pushed my bully off the monkey bars. But after all this time," she grew nervous again, "how do I tell him? And what if he doesn't feel the same way? He already has a girlfriend, _Shelley_," she rolled her eyes at the name then realized "... who will see this on TV..."

Her rant was interrupted by Devin cheering as he held up his empty bowl. "Yeah! Done!"

Carrie ran up and hugged his neck. He blushed, but she didn't seem to notice. "Come on!" he said, removing her hands after a more than necessary amount of time. "We're in first!"

The scene cut to the Daters getting their stew, then the camera panned to the right to show the Rockers, Goths, Stepbrothers, Slackers, and Mallrats arriving. Gerry and Pete's yells could be heard from off screen, and their camel ran on screen and bucked them off. They landed on in the sand in a painful heap.

\

A classical tune played as the scene flashed to Sanders taking a small sip of her stew and wiping her mouth between each sip. The camera cut to a close up of MacArthur looking irritated as a tense string played underneath the classical piece. Another offscreen slurp and the camera cut in closer as she grit her teeth, the string getting tenser; and yet another slurp had her eye twitching, the string getting even more tense.

"Stop wiping. Your face!" she yelled as the camera pulled back to show both women. "And chug!"

Sanders took another sip and leveled an unamused look at her partner. "This, is how _civilized_ people eat."

"This ain't a tea party," MacArthur told her. "It's a race for a million dollars. Now chug!" she tipped the bowl up, forcing her partner to chug the stew as their leitmotif played.

"Freeze!" MacArthur yelled as she held the bowl up. "I mean, done!"

"Done!" Bridgette called out, gaining the attention of the Cadets and the camera. She was holding the bowl in the air as Angel hugged her neck and kissed her on the cheek. "Let's go!"

Before they moved, a squeal gained their attention, and the camera cut to Josee striking a pose while she chugged her stew with Jacques watching nearby. "A wonderful performance of grace and efficiency! Bravo!"

The camera quick panned back to the Police Cadets. "Uh-oh," MacArthur said. "Move it!" She and her partner ran off.

\

The camera flashed to Carrie and Devin running alone through the desert. She tripped on a rock and fell down and when she looked up the camera switched to her perspective to show Devin smiling down at her. "Need a hand homie?" he asked. She was to busy gazing at him lovingly to respond.

The footage skipped ahead to him carrying her with only one arm as a their leitmotif played. "Whoa," Carrie said shyly before adopting a more playful tone. "Easy, Romeo."

XXX

CARRIE AND DEVIN; BEST FRIENDS

"You'd think it'd be awkward being so close to each other," Devin told the camera, "but not for us. It's like were perfect. I can't imagine us any other way."

Carrie laughed. "Yeah," she said unconvincingly, me either. Just... perfect..."

XXX

The scene cut to Crimson eating her team's stew while Ennui wordlessly watched, then panned to the right to show Ryan eating his stew while flexing one arm and hugging Stephanie with the other. "Do it baby!" she cheered. "Show that stew you're the man!"

The camera panned right again to show Brody and Mary eating their stew with their partners watching nearby. "When I first met Brody he was eating a cat's hairball on a dare," Geoff told Ellody before chuckling. "It was pure _awesome_!"

"I met Mary at an engineering students' potluck dinner," Ellody said. "We both brought pie chart pie," she added with a snorting laugh, "We're quite whimsical."

Geoff chuckled and smiled. "Pies..."

Yet another pan to the right showed Malcolm, his face completely red, eating his stew while Noah watched with apathy. "I," he wheezed, "I think you picked the wrong spices."

"You honestly expect me to believe _this_ is the most painful thing you've been through?" Noah asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Like done man!" Rasta called out, the camera cutting to him dropping his bowl in the ground as he and Marley ran to the Chill Zone.

"Hurrying up," Malcolm said as the shot cut back to him and Noah.

\

The scene flashed to MacArthur running through the desert, Sanders slowly walking on screen and holding her stomach a moment later. "Oh," Sanders groaned, causing her partner to stop and send an irritated look back. "I gotta stew cramp. It huuuuuurts..."

"Never leave a man behind," was all MacArthur said in response.

The footage skipped ahead to MacArthur carrying her partner over her shoulder. "Ow!" Sanders complained. "_This_ hurts!"

"Not my fault you got no meat on your bones," MacArthur said with an audible shrug after they left the screen.

\

The scene cut to a pan across the eating challenge, showing the Cheat eating for the Stepbrothers, Crimson for the Goths, Spud for the Rockers, Ryan for the Daters, Kelly for the Mom and Daughter,Brody for the Bromance Bros, Mary for the Geniuses, Jay for the Adversity Twins, Beardo for the Outcasts, Wyatt for the Mallrats, Malcolm Reality TV Pros, and Emma for the Sisters.

Emma and Kitty became the camera's focus as the former groaned after taking a slurp. "Come on Emma!" Kitty cheered. "You can do it!"

XXX

KITTY AND EMMA; SISTERS

"We chose some of the wrong spices," Emma told the camera.

"Uh," Kitty spoke up, "you chose _all_ the spices."

Emma glared at her and leaned forward.

"Which is good!" Kitty hastily added. "Because I would've just guessed. Phew," she mimed wiping the sweat from her brow.

XXX

The Fashion Bloggers and the Jocks were the focus of the next scene change, Tom and Steven eating the stew while their partners watched.

"Whoa slow down Tom," Jen said suddenly. "You don't wanna get any stew on that shirt," she explained at seeing his raised eyebrow.

"Eh," Steven shrugged. "I think the guy wearing the shirt is way cuter," he said offhandedly before slurping some more soup, the camera panning to the right to get the Tennis Rivals in the shot with Pete eating the stew.

\

A flash took the scene to the Best Friends running through the desert, Devin still carrying Carrie as she leaned forward and squinted. "Can you see the Chill Zone homie?" he asked.

"No!" Carrie cried, "I think we might be," the camera pulled back to show a vulture watching them from a nearby rock and a flock of them circling above, "_lost_!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed with a shot of the sun as a harsh trilling tune played, then cut to Devin's feet as he continued to run through the desert before panning up to show him still carrying his partner.

Carrie gasped excitedly and pointed ahead of her. "Homie! Look!"

Devin barked out a laugh as the camera cut to two palm trees surrounded by cacti. Both friends cheered as they ran in between the trees and the shot cut to Don on the Carpet of Completion with a smile on his face as Devin ran up to him.

"Welcome to the Chill Zone," the host said with raised arms as the music turned triumphant. "You're the first team to arrive. Congrats!"

Devin cheered again and gently set Carrie down. "Yeah! We did it!" he cheered once more, both teens gazing into each other's eyes. He blinked and back away with a blush, then said "I wish I could call Shelley." before dashing away.

Carrie laughed halfheartedly. "Yeah... Shelley..."

XXX

CARRIE AND DEVIN; BEST FRIENDS

"It's not that much of a shock we're in first," Devin told the camera. "We're a great team."

"But still," Carrie chimed in. "First place? That's just. Wow."

XXX

"Done!" Malcolm wheezed as the footage cut to him holding his bowl in the air.

"Not a moment too soon either," Noah commented while pointing off to the side, the camera quick panned to the right to show the Band Geeks and Vegans arriving at the restaurant and back to Noah and Malcolm. The two boys nodded, then ran off.

\

A flash took the scene to a close up of Sanders, still over her partner's shoulder. "Oh..." she groaned, "it hurts so bad..."

A high-pitched squealing laugh caught her attention, and the shot pulled back to show MacArthur looking back with a confused grunt.

The camera cut to Jacques, holding Josee in the air the same way he had while they were riding their camel, both with large and somewhat devious smiles as a grand and triumphant tune played.

"Well that's just creepy," MacArthur commented, both women following the Ice Dancer with their eyes as they passed them and wincing at the sound on impact.

The music slowed to a halt as the shot cut to Jacques having slammed into a palm tree and Josee buried in a nearby bush.

"Hah!" MacArthur laughed as she passed them ."Later skaters!"

Angel and Bridgette arrived not long after Sanders and MacArthur left. "Are you guys okay?" Angel asked as she stopped and leaned over the Ice Dancers, her girlfriend having passed them.

"Angelfish!" Bridgette said from off-screen. "Race!"

Angel perked up. "Right," she said, taking off after her girlfriend.

\

Tense challenge music played as the shot cut to Brody taking a huge slurp of his stew, then calling out 'Done!'.

Ryan was next, smirking as he called out 'Done!'.

The camera cut to Beardo and Wyatt, the latter calling out 'Finished' while the former made the sound of a dinging bell.

Jen and Tom and Steven and Tyler were the focus of the next camera cut, both still eating their stew as the Tennis Rivals, Bromance Bros, Daters, Outcasts, and Mallrats ran off in the background.

\

"Put... Me... Down...!" Sanders said as the scene flashed to the Police Cadets in the desert, the challenge music ramping up in intensity.

"No time," MacArthur responded, the camera panned to the right to show the Sweethearts and Ice Dancers neck-and-neck behind them.

The music continued to ramp up as the camera cut to a close up of MacArthur glaring back at the two teams, then the Ice Dancers narrowing their eyes, then the Sweethearts narrowing their eyes, then a head on shot of the Police Cadets that panned to the left to show the Ice Dancers and back to the right to show the Sweethearts.

The camera cut to the three teams running through the trees that flanked the entrance to the Chill Zone, then cut to Don, then panned to the right to show the Police Cadets in the lead, with the Sweethearts not far behind the Ice Dancers.

The music somehow got even more dramatic as MacArthur jumped in the air. The footage slowed down with appropriate sound effects to show her landing on the carpet.

"Hey who called the cops?" Don joked as the music ended. "What fun," he laughed. "You're team number two, well done," he told the Police Cadets, prompting MacArthur to cheer and raise her hands in the air. She dropped her partner in doing so and the camera panned to the right to show Jacques and Josee and Angel and Bridgette walking up to the host as the Police Cadets walked away.

The Ice Dancers waved to the camera as their leitmotif played. "So as a Canadian ice dancing team you probably hear this a lot," Don joked. "Third place! Sweethearts, you're in fourth!" Angel and Bridgette cheered and hugged each other whiln Josee's eye twitched to a spike in the music.

XXX

JOSEE AND JACQUES; ICE DANCERS

Josee wasn't in the interview room, but Jacques was covering his ears with a dull expression as a very long string of censor bleeps played.

XXX

The music turned reverent as more teams checked into the Chill Zone; "Fifth!" Don announced, the image of Rasta and Marley slapping five appearing in the top left of the screen. "Sixth!" the grinning Tennis Rivals appeared in the top middle. "Seventh!" Geoff and Brody had an arm around each other in the top right, "Eighth!" Stephanie hugged a cheering Ryan in the bottom left, "Ninth!" The Outcasts cheered in the bottom middle, "Tenth!" The grinning Geniuses in the bottom right.

The screen went to black as more teams appeared. "Eleventh!" Don announced as Malcolm and Noah grinning appeared in the top left. "Twelfth!" The grinning Rockers appeared in the top right. "Thirteenth!" The Fashion Bloggers in the bottom left. "Fourteenth!" The Mallrats in the bottom right.

"Fifteenth!" Tyler and Steven raised their arms in victory in the top left as the previous images disappeared. "Sixteenth!" Reef and Broseph appeared in the top right. "Seventeenth!" Emma's feet appeared in the bottom.

"Seventeenth?!" Emma protested in a close-up. "You _have_ to start doing more!" she scolded her sister as the shot cut out to show both of them and Don on the Carpet.

"I would _love_ to do more!" Kitty said. "Please."

"I'll tell you when to do more!" Emma told her as the music turned tense. "_I_ will tell _you_!" She huffed and walked away, leaving Kitty to sigh and sag slightly.

\

A flash took the scene to Junior at the restaurant. "Get up!" he said to his off-screen father. "You gotta eat the stew!"

The camera panned to the right to show Dwayne lying on top of they're still exhausted mount and panting heavily. "Just..." he panted, "just give me a minute kiddo..."

The camera quick-panned to the right to show Taylor holding up a bowl. "My mom's done!" she called out, running off while her mother trudged after her holding her stomach.

"Not so fast honey," Kelly groaned.

"We're done!" Lorenzo called out, the camera cutting to his close up.

"I don't feel so good," Chet complained as the shot puuled back to show him holding his stomach as well.

"I don't care," his stepbrother told him. "We gotta go!"

XXX

JUNIOR

"I didn't sign up for this show and I don't really wanna be here," he told the camera while his father was still collapsed from exhaustion in the background, "But now that I'm here, I _don't_ wanna be the first team kicked out."

XXX

"Come on Dad!" Junior told his father as he walked over to him. "Like you always tell me, 'Never say 'Quit'.'!"

"Actually pal it's," Dwayne panted a correction, "'it's Never say 'never'."

"I don't really listen to you," Junior admitted with a shrug. "Just get up an eat!"

\

"Eighteenth!" Don said as the camera cut to the Adversity Twins' feet before panning up to the cheering brothers.

"Nineteenth!" the host continued as the image of Taylor glaring at her cringing mother took the top of the screen. "Twentieth!" the Goths took the bottom left. "Twenty-first!" An image of Chet and Lorenzo mid-fight took the bottom right.

"That leaves the Vegans, Band Geeks," Don continued as the shot cut to Andrew and Miles eating their stew as their partners watched, "and Father and Son," Junior and Dwayne watched their stew get made.

"One of these teams will be heading home," he told the camera as it cut to him at the Chill Zone with a finger raised.

"I hope we got the right spices," Dwayne told his son as the chef handed them their stew. In response a fly landed on it and a jet of fire burst from the bowl.

"Dad," Junior said seriously as the scene cut to the two running over to the Band Geeks and Vegans. "We're in last place. You gotta hurry and down this stew."

The camera cut to a close up of the bubbling and steaming stew and Dwayne and Junior's attention was momentarily stolen by Andrew calling out 'Done!' and Elliot yelling 'Let's go!'

XXX

DWAYNE AND JUNIOR; FATHER AND SON

"So what's a little spice?" Dwayne shrugged. "Let's do this thang!" he cheered before laughing. "Thang. I sound like a kid when I say that."

"You really don't," Junior said dryly.

XXX

With appropriately tense music, Dwayne took a deep breath... and poured the stew down his throat, causing his son to stare in amazement. Junior's hero worship was broken by hearing Miles yell out 'We're done!' and running off to the Chill Zone.

Dwayne finished the stew, and Junior called out "Done!" but before they could go anywhere, the father blinked and his eyes lost focus.

"Oh no!" he cried. "I can't see! Temporary blindness!"

"Come on!" Junior yelled, grabbing his father's wrist and running off.

\

The scene cut to Andrew and Elliot running through the desert, stopping in panic when they heard Miles shout 'Yes!'. They looked back, and the camer followed their gaze to the Vegans running a few yards behind them. "We're catching up!" Laurie cried.

XXX

LAURIE AND MILES; VEGANS

"It's so early in the race," Miles said, "It'd be a shame to be sent home so soon."

XXX

ELLIOT AND ANDREW; BAND GEEKS

"They were catching up pretty fast," Elliot told the camera. "But we're in _marching band_," she bragged.

"If anyone knows how to get somewhere fast on your feet," Andrew added, "it's us."

XXX

The Band Geeks shook themselves out of their panic and marched in step with each other. True to their word, they were going faster than they were before. But with a sharp spike in the music, Andrew let out a shout of pain and collapsed onto the sand.

"My foot!" he cried in pain, holding the aching body part. "It's _cramping_!"

"No time for that!" Elliot said, picking her partner up and carrying him over her shoulder as the Vegans and Father and Son passed them.

The music ramped up in intensity as the camera cut to the running Vegans, then Dwayne and Junior, then Elliot's feet, then her face with her eyes narrowed in determination, then the Vegans' feet, then Junior's, then a head on shot rapidly approaching Don at the Carpet of Completion.

"Congrats Vegans," he told Laurie and Miles as the camera returned to a sideview of them on the Carpet. "You're twenty-second!"

XXX

MILES AND LAURIE; VEGANS

"That could've gone better," Miles admitted. "But we're still in the race."

"Besides," Laurie added. "There's only one leg were first matters."

XXX

"And here comes twenty-third!" Don announced as Junior led Dwayne to the Carpet and let him go, the father continuing to run.

"Are there any trees?!" Dwayne asked in a panic as he ran off screen. "Warn me if you see a tree!"

"We're almost there Dad!" Junior called out.

Don leaned down. "How long are you gonna let him run?"

Junior shrugged. "I just needed a break.

XXX

JUNIOR AND DWAYNE; FATHER AND SON

"Twenty-third place?" Dwayne asked, his eyes still unfocused. "We gotta do better pal. I know! We're gonna stay up all night and talk _strategy_!" he gave his sone two thumbs-up.

"_Greeeeaaaat_!" Junior deadpanned.

XXX

"The Ridonculous Race is about skill," Don told Elliot as she carried her partner to the carpet. "It's about determination. However," he added while raising a finger in the air. "It's also about luck, which is something you guys didn't have today. I'm sorry," he told them sincerely, "but you're out."

"Aw man..." Andrew groaned.

\

"Well we definitely could've done better," Elliot said over a clip of Andrew holding his cramped foot, a reverent version of the main theme playing in the background.

"But even the short amount of time we had was a blast," Andrew added over a clips of them marching across the desert, and them stepping off the train platform.

"I'm glad we did this together," Elliot said over clips of them getting their spices, trying to make an alliance with the Goths, and explaining about their taxi's flat tire. "These memories are gonna last forever."

"They could've at least sprung for a ride home though," Andrew said, the montage ending and the scene cutting to them in the background walking across the desert at dusk while the silhouette of a camel stood in the foreground. The music ended, and the camel farted then groaned.

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note Post Script:** And that's the first elimination. Not much to say about the Band Geeks. I knew going in it was either them or the Slackers but since I have a plot idea for Rasta and Marley, Andrew and Elliot were the first boot.

Now you may notice I'm changing some things up with two of the teams. First is the Vegans. I really hate how they're the stereotypical annoying types, mainly because I knew some in high school who weren't at all like that. So in this version, they're aware of the 'Straw Vegan' type and are trying to prove that they're not all like that.

Second are the Best Friends. I'm just gonna confirm. Devin's in love with Carrie too. Yes, I am aware of the whole Shelley thing. Let's just say that's a much different story than canon.

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

**RDP: TRR ELIMINATION TABLE:**

**24th Place:** _Band Geeks_ \- Andrew and Elliot


	3. French is an Eiffel Language

**Author's Note:** Wow this is late. I'm so so sorry, but real life these past few months hasn't been the best. But I'm back and ready to finish out this series. The next chapter released will be for Danger Island and will definitely be out before next Friday.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

_**Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ Thanks! But I'd harldy call myself a legend. That's Fangren.

_**TheChrisanthemum:**_ Sorry to boot your favorites. I get it, I'm a band geek too. I'm glad you liked the episode though.

_**WeirdAlfan101:**_ Yeah, Emma was not my favorite when the show first started. I actually believe Emma's inconsistencies could've worked better if they writer's had done a better job of explaining things. Which is what I'll try to do because outside of one moment I love everything about the Nemma romance. Eh, I won't mind if you don't miss the Band Geeks. First boots tend to be forgettable.

_**Phenomenal Ultra Instinct:**_ Only one way to find out.

_**Nicky Haugh:**_ Thanks.

_**StarHeart Specials:**_ I'd feel the same about the geeks if I was a reader, but plot is plot. I have big ideas for the Vegans, sass is just the beginning. I can honestly say the Carrie Devin situation won't be as annoying as it was in canon. Don't worry, the Sweethearts aren't getting involved in anybody's rivalry. I'm building up to Josee's canon level anger.

_**That British Guy:**_ Yes, Steven is gay. You think I'd give Jen a romance and not Tom?

_**Red Rain:**_ Thanks! I'm glad you agree with the elimination. I have far too much planned for the Slackers. Even if I do a good job of hiding it, this whole series in super self-indulgent. And having been friends with a vegan in school I really hated how they were done here. I'm basing them more on my old friend. I think everyone will enjoy what I've done with the Best Friends. But I can't take credit for their placement. I just ripped things from canon and added the extra teams in the mix.

_**Derick Lindsey:**_ I did for the longest time plan on Father and Son, but Dwayne amuses me too much. I can honestly say Don will not bullshit the Vegans into elimination. I really hate when I have to do stuff like that anyway. I'm not dragging out Carrie and Devin. I'm a pretty bug Total Drama apologist, but even I thought they went on too long. Yeah, I was waiting on Kitty to just go off on Emma and was so confused on why Noah liked her. Well both the Rockers and the Slackers are G-rated stoners so it's not too far-fetched they'd be friends. And even though it's been a while. wait-and-see.

_**Tempokeep:**_ Yeah, luck's going to be a major factor, just like the Amazing Race. Yes I am toning down the Vegans. I wasn't a fan of their portrayal in canon.

_**Thunderdragon453:**_ Right now!

_**Remaining Teams:**_

_**Adversity Twins:**_ Jay and Mickey, _**Best Friends:**_ Carrie and Devin, _**Bromance Bros:**_ Brody and Geoff, _**Daters:**_ Ryan and Stephanie, _**Fashion Bloggers:**_ Jen and Tom, _**Father and Son:**_ Dwayne and Junior, _**Geniuses:**_ Ellody and Mary, _**Goths:**_ Crimson and Ennui, _**Ice Dancers:**_ Jacques and Josee, _**Jocks:**_ Steven and Tyler, _**Mallrats:**_ Caitlin and Wyatt, _**Mom and Daughter:**_ Kelly and Taylor, _**Outcasts:**_ Beardo and Cody, _**Police Cadets:**_ MacArthur and Sanders, _**Reality TV Pros:**_ Malcolm and Noah, _**Rockers:**_ Rock and Spud, _**Sisters:**_ Emma and Kitty, _**Slackers:**_ Marley and Rasta, _**Stepbrothers:**_ Chet and Lorenzo, _**Surfer Dudes:**_ Broseph and Reef, _**Sweethearts:**_ Angel and Bridgette, _**Tennis Rivals:**_ Gerry and Pete, _**Vegans:**_ Laurie and Miles

Just stew it...

* * *

**Episode 03: French is an Eiffel Language**

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race," Don said over the show's title card before the montage began with Ice Dancers, Police Cadets, Sweethearts, Daters, and Best Friends making it to the spice kiosk an Middle Eastern music began to play, "After choosing their spices and cameling through the Moroccan desert," he continued over a shot of the aforementioned teams riding camels in the desert, "Our teams built up a hearty appetite," Rasta was shown eating his stew, "and then promptly lost it," Malcolm was shown complaining about the spices.

"The winners were Best Friends Carrie and Devin," he continued as Devin was shown carrying Carrie to the Carpet of Completion, the Middle-Eastern music fading into the regular recap theme, "and in my book, everyone else was a loser," the Vegans and Father and Son were shown catching up to the Band Geeks, "but we could only eliminate one team," Andrew was shown getting a cramp in his foot, "and last week it was the Band Geeks," they were shown reacting to the news. "I'm a little sad, Andrew was pretty good with that trumpet."

"But that was then" Don said as the recap mintage ended and the scene flashed to him at the Chill Zone. "And this," the camera zoomed in for a close-up, "The Ridonculous _Race_!" He raised one eyebrow, lowered the other, and flashed a smile so white it served as the flash that transitioned to the opening sequence.

**XXXXX**

[Unlike the opening sequence of Total Drama, the opening sequence for The Ridonculous Race is instrumental. The intro begins with an overview of the Earth before a hand holding a Travel Tip appears. The camera zooms in, revealing the silhouettes of all twenty-four teams running in three rows: the top row held from left to right the Fashion Bloggers, Mallrats, Adversity Twins, Rockers, Vegans, Slackers, Tennis Rivals, and Jocks running to the right against a blue city street background; the second row had from left to right Father and Son, Police Cadets, Goths, Sweethearts, Daters, Sisters, Bromance Bros, and Surfer Dudes running to the left against a golden desert background; and the bottom row held from left to right the Best Friends, Geniuses, Outcasts, Ice Dancers, Stepbrothers, Band Geeks, Mom and Daughter, and the Reality TV Pros running to the right against a green jungle background . The scene shifts to a map of the world, showing the visited countries being highlighted by yellow dots. The camera zooms in on one of those dots and it becomes the background as three postcards depicting the inside of a fancy restaurant, a beautiful and nondescript beach, and the Parisian skyline are 'thrown' onto it. A Travel Tip then cuts the scene into three sections, each showing the silhouette of a different mode of transportation that are used throughout the race; a train aganst a gold background, a plane against a blue sky background, and a bus against a green background all three heading to the right. A taxi stops by and opens its door as the camera zooms in, showing pictures of all twenty-four teams each appearing during one of the ending flourish of notes. In the end, the scene cuts to the main logo of the Ridonculous Race with a plane that flies across the screen, spinning the N.]

**XXXXX**

Dramatic music played as the episode began with Don walking across the Moroccan Chill Zone. "Yesterday's Chill Zone is _today's_ starting line," he explained. "Teams must depart in the order they arrived, stating with yesterday's winners, the 'platonic' Best Friends," he continued with air-quotes.

The camera cut to Carrie mashing the button for the Don Box and handing the tip to Devin. "Oh wow!" he said after reading it. "We're goin' to Paris!"

"No way!" Carrie cheered, raising her arms in the air.

\

The scene cut to the French flag, an accordion tune playing in the background. "Paris!" Don narrated as a postcard of the Parisian skyline slid into view, him walking into view inside it.

"Home of the Mona Lisa," the image of the famed painting in the halls of the Louvre slid into view from the right, "tiny coffees," the image of a coffee shop on a nondescript city street slid into view from the top, "and other things that annoy me like you wouldn't believe," a mime doing a routine on a cross walk rotated into view using the bottom left corner as a hinge.

\

"Once in Paris," he continued as the shot cut to him in front of a basic brown background, "teams must make their way _here_ to," the camera rapidly zoomed out to show he was on the observation deck of "the Eiffel Tower and find their next tip."

\

The music continued and a series of shots were shown in rapid succession, each punctuated by a single note: Carrie and Devin running past a group of mopeds, then Devin getting on one, releasing the parking break, and revving the engine. Carrie cheered as the two darted off.

The camera followed them as he drove. She wrapped her arms around him and they both blushed.

XXX

CARRIE AND DEVIN: BEST FRIENDS

"I'm so excited!" Carrie cheered. "Paris is the most romantic place on _Earth_!"

"Totally," Devin agreed. "And once we win the million I'm goin' back to Paris. With my girlfriend."

"Yeah," Carrie said, sagging in disappointment and missing the longing gaze Devin was giving her.

XXX

An inquisitive tune played as the footage cut to the Police Cadets at the starting point. "There's nothing _Eiffel_ about this Parisian landmark," MacArthur read.

"Eiffel Tower!" Sanders announced as the camera pulled back to show her reading over her partner's shoulder. "Paris!" she raised a fist in the air. "Let's roll!"

\

The camera flashed to a road sign giving vague instructions to the nearest airport, then pulled back as the Best Friends drove past it. "Almost there," Devin strained. "Can you lighten your grip a bit homie?"

A honking caught their attention, and they and the camera looked back to see a head on view of the Police Cadets catching up to them. "Move aside!" MacArthur called out. "Emergency police business!" she continued as the shot cut to normal and they pasted the Best Friends.

Carrie gasped and pointed ahead. "It's the Cadets!" The camera cut to Sanders and MacArthur slapping five, then the Ice Dancers' leitmotif preceding their appearance onto the screen; both posing and smiling for the camera.

XXX

JOSEE AND JACQUES: ICE DANCERS

"Being sports heroes, we never know when the cameras will be on us," Josee explained. "So we have to smile _all_ the time."

"All the time," Jacques echoed. "Even in our sleep."

"It's very painful," Josee added with a slight strain.

XXX

MACARTHUR AND SANDERS: POLICE CADETS

"What's with those Ice Dancers?" MacArthur asked, her partner smirking at her with crossed arms as a harsh drumbeat took over the music. "Do they _ever_ stop smiling? Do they sleep that way? Do they _cry_ smiling? I'm gonna find out!" she declared angrily as Sanders giggled.

"She get's a little fixated," Sanders explained over her partner's growl.

XXX

The scene moved back to the road sign as the Jocks, Sisters, Mom and Daughter, and Adversity Twins sped past... or into the sign in the latter case. Mickey was knocked off his moped and Jay continued on, prompting the boy to get up and run after his brother while shouting 'Wait!'.

\

An eirie tune played as the camera cut to a blood red umbrella opening, then pulled back to show the Goths driving away. The shot panned to the right to show the Fashion Bloggers carrying a rug to their moped.

XXX

JEN AND TOM: FASHION BLOGGERS

"If we'd known the fashion capital of the _universe _was our next stop we wouldn't have spent so much money on a hand-woven Moroccan carpet," Jen said.

XXX

The scene cut to the doors of an airport. Triumphant music played as the Ice Dancers opened the door and they dashed over to the man at the counter, who looked identical to the one seen in a previous episode.

"Two for Paris!" Josee said, using the French pronunciation. "Do you offer free upgrades for Olympians?" Jacques waggled his eyebrows.

The man tapped at his computer. "Ah yes," he told them. "Free upgrades for all gold medal peoples," the music slowed to a halt.

"Economy is _fine_," Josee said through gritted teeth.

The camera panned to the right to show the Police Cadets, Best Friends, Slackers, Daters, Tennis Rivals and Sweethearts running over to the counter. Bridgette noticed the sound of something approaching and looked back.

The camera cut to the entrance to the airport. A moped horn honking and an excited "Oh _yeah_!" from Geoff preceded the arrival of the Bromance Bros. The camera lingered at the entrance and shook at the sound of a crash, then three duffel bags and a wheel bounced on screen.

XXX

BRODY AND GEOFF: BROMANCE BROS

"I _love_ mopeds," Brody, with a pair of heart boxers on his head, told the camera as an energetic tune played. "I tried to jump one into my pool last summer but ended up crashing through my neighbor's gazebo."

The two boys chuckled.

"We shouldn't laugh though dude," Geoff admonished. "You totally ruined that wedding. Even if they did have _awesome_ cake." They chuckled and bumped fists.

XXX

The music turned harsh as the scene cut to the Stepbrothers, Chet was driving as best as he could would Lorenzo holding his hands over his face. "Get your hands outta my face!" he yelled as they swerved all over the road.

"Get you face outta my hands!" Lorenzo shot back.

The camera followed them as they passed Jen and Tom, but lingered on the slowing Fashion Bloggers. "The carpet is slowing us down," Jen told her partner.

"But-" Tom tried to protest.

"Tom," she said sternly. "We're going to Paris."

"You're right," Tom sighed. "Be free!" he cried as he let the rug go.

The camera cut to a head-on shot of the carpet flying in the wind and then to Dwayne and Junior as the elder tried to warn his son. "Watch out for that-" the carpet hit and covered them, forcing them off the road. The camera lingered as the Vegans walked down the road with their moped to a light airy tune.

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LAURIE AND MILES; VEGANS

"Honestly," Laurie said, "even though those were electric scooters, we still decided not to use them.

"Yeah," Miles scoffed. "Between the rusted battery and oil power plant we saw as the plane landed, it'd actually be more eco-friendly to drive a jeep through the desert."

XXX

The scene cut to the Fashion Bloggers running through the airport, only to stop when they came across a battered and bruised Dwayne and Junior. "Oh no," Jen said sincerely. "What happened to you?"

"Strangest thing," Dwayne explained. "A carpet came out of nowhere. It could've killed us."

And odd note played as Jen and Tom looked at each other, then began to laugh awkwardly. Jen laughed first, then Tom, then Jen again, then Tom again, then a close-up of Jen as she laughed, followed by a close up of Tom as he laughed.

The camera cut to Dwayne and Junior looking at each other nervously as the laughter continued, then slowly backed away from the other team.

\

"Twelve teams wait anxiously at the airport to board flight number two," Don narrated over a shot of Kitty taking a selfie next to her worried sister, "which doesn't take off," Reef and Broseph were shown sleeping in their seats, "for another hour and a half," Rock gave Spud an odd look as the latter listened to music on his headphones.

"So we covered it with sad face stickers," the hose continued as the camera panned down an airport runway to show they had actually done that, "which is hilarious."

"But the first eleven teams," Don said over a shot of a plane in the air, "are already Paris bound on flight number one." A reverent tune played as the teams were shown in their seats: the Best Friends were shown sharing a bag of chips in the top-left corner of the screen, Bridgette and Angel were leaning on each other as they slept in the top-middle, Stephanie tossed a chip into Ryan's mouth in the top-right, The Police Cadets read magazines in the bottom-left, Marley watched Rasta dump an entire bag of chips in his mouth in the bottom-middle and Noah read a book as Malcolm slept in the bottom right.

The rest of the teams on flight one were shown: Cody and Beardo reading magazines in the top middle, Geoff and Brody struggling to open their chips in the bottom-right, the Tennis Rivals asleep in the top left, the Ice Dancers relaxing with sleep masks on their faces in the bottom right, and the Geniuses reading books in the top right.

\

The tune ended as the scene cut to the first plane landing on a runway at night. "Flight number one has landed and the race for first place is _on_," Don narrated.

The camera cut to a flight attendant walking to the loading bay door, only to be smashed into the wall by the eleven teams running out of it. The footage skipped ahead to show the Slackers, Outcasts, Daters, and Reality TV Pros leaving the airport, then cut to the back door of a taxi opening as Bridgette said "To the Eiffel Tower please!"

The door to the taxi closed, the light on the top of it turned on, a sock and sandal wearing foot slammed on the accelerator, and five taxis sped away.

Dramatic music played as more footage was shown: Noah and Malcolm sitting in the back with the latter somehow closing the door on his hand in the top-left, Geoff knocking on the window of a taxi saying "Eiffel Tower bro!" in the top-right, Pete's voice saying "Go! Go! Go!" over a cab's exhaust pipe in the bottom left, and the back wheel of a taxi speeding off in the bottom right. The footage all cut to more taxis speeding off.

\

A stereotypical French tune played as the camera flashed to the top of the Eiffel Tower and panned down, the sound of multiple speeding taxis could be heard in the distance.

The camera cut to the inside of the Ice Dancers' cab. "Gold medals!" Josee cheered. "Woo-Hoo-_AAAHHH_!" the camera shook violently then cut outside to show an orange cab had rear-ended theirs. Cody and Beardo woozily stepped out and the former shook his head.

"Not that fast," he slurred as his partner bent over and vomited.

The footage skipped ahead to Beardo hitting the button to the Don Box as an inquisitive tune played. "Looks like a Botch or Watch," he told his partner as the Ice Dancers walked over while holding their heads with pained grimaces.

"In this Botch or Watch," Don said, gaining the attention of both teams and the camera. He was standing in between a stack of sketchpads and a cup of pencils on a wooden table with a plain orange table cloth and a man who looked a great deal like Vincent Van Gough, "whoever _didn't_ eat the stew in Morocco," the camera cut to Beardo looking at a smiling Cody, "must draw a caricature of their partner," the camera panned up and to the right to show the Ice Dancers grinning at each other.

"When this local French artiste approves of the drawing," the shot cut to a close-up of Don before panning left to the artist, "They'll receive their next tip," he finished as the man gave the camera a thumbs-up.

\

The camera cut to the wheel of a blue cab screeching to a stop. The eight of the other first flight teams raced out of their cabs and grabbed sketchpads as an even more stereotypical French tune played. Devin gave Carrie a thumbs-up and a smile that she returned, then smiled softly at her when she buried her face into the sketchpad. Jacques directed Josee to do something with his pencil, and she obliged by gracefully stretching out her arms.

The shot cut to Ellody drawing Mary, then panned to the left to show a scowling Noah drawing a confused looking Malcolm. Ryan flexed his muscles and made his pecs dance, and Stephanie gazed at him lovingly. Bridgette struck a standard surfing pose as Angel sketched her, and Marley sketched Rasta as the latter chowed down on a baguette.

The music ramped up as Brody flexed both of his muscles in a strongman pose, to which Geoff nodded in approval. Beardo tapped his foot as he patiently waited for Cody to draw him, and Sanders closed one of her eyes and mimed aiming a gun with her hands while MacArthur drew her.

\

"This just in," Don said as a slightly tense tune interrupted the French theme, "flight number two has landed," the standard shots of the plane landing, wheels slowing down, and engine stopping were shown.

"As teams from flight number two head for the Eiffel Tower," he continued over a shot of the Adversity Twins, Fashion Bloggers, Father and Son, Goths, Jocks, Mallrats, Stepbrothers, Mom and Daughter, Rockers, Sisters, Surfer Dudes, and Vegans leaving the airport, "teams from flight number one strain to finish the first challenge," Brody was shown sweating and struggling to hold his pose.

"Done!" Geoff called out, allowing his partner to drop the pose and sigh in relief. Geoff handed his sketch to the judge. It was a simple drawing, Brody with exaggerated muscular arms with lines drawn to emphasize their already large size.

"Dude you drew me awesome!" Brody said with an audible smile from off-screen. The judge gave them a thumbs-up and handed them their tip, to which the two boys cheered and slapped five.

"Y'know," Malcolm said as the camera cut to the Reality TV Pros. "It's kinda cool how supportive they are of each other. Why don't we do that?"

"I support you," Noah said in slight offense. "I just do it with dry sarcasm. Now face forward."

The shot cut back to the Bromance Bros as Geoff read their tip. "Go down down down," he said as the camera zoomed in on him and a tense tune played, "to the cheese so round where your next tip is found." He gave the camera an odd look. "Huh?"

A squeaking sound caught their attention, and they turned to see a rat running down an open manhole. "Follow that rat!" Geoff cried. He and Brody ran off to the right, but the camera lingered to catch the Police Cadets handing in their sketchpad.

The camera panned down and cut to black.

\

A click and a dark tune began as Don turned on a flashlight. The behind him wallpaper was peeling off of the brick walls, and barely lit torches could be seen around him. "Welcome," he said dramatically, his voice reverberating in the air, "to the catacombs." The light from his flashlight got brighter, to the point where it served as the flash to the next scene.

"This is where ancient Parisians, buried victims of the plague," the host continued to explain as he leaned out of an archway that was behind a disturbingly high pile of human skulls.

The camera cut to another area full of piles of skulls, some even appearing to have been used in the construction of the catacombs. "Teams must use their noses to navigate this maze of tunnels," the shot cut to a skull-free section of the tomb, "and find the correct exit."

"And their next travel tip," his voice no longer echoed, and the background looked much more normal, "hidden amongst these wheels of Roquefort cheese," the camera pulled back to show he was on the banks of the Seine. To his left a large pile of yellow wheels of cheese. To his right, a small stone building bearing the image of a stylized skull above its metal grate of a door.

\

The camera panned up to show two cabs with flat tires in front of several storefronts, then focused on the one in the back. "A flat tire in luxury boutique heaven during a midnight madness event? Come on," Tom scoffed as the camera cut to the inside of his and Jen's cab.

Jen gasped and looked at her partner. "The universe _wants_ us to go shopping!" she declared as an angelic tune played in the background. "It's fate!"

"Seems more like an ultimate test of our wills," Tom said. "Plus we're already behind. No time to stop, drop, and shop."

XXX

TOM & JEN; FASHION BLOGGERS

"If we come in last," Tom told the camera in front of the stores, "we're going home."

"And the longer we stay on the show, the longer we can promote our blog," Jen added.

"Now Trending With Tom and Jen!" they announced together.

XXX

"That being said," Tom amended after seeing the sad look on his partner's face, "it might take him a while to fix the tire..."

The camera cut outside to show the two dashing out of the cab. The camera followed them until they passed the other taxi, then cut inside.

"Oh my goodness," Caitlin said as she stared out of the window. "A flat tire in Paris, during a sale, right next to the writers of my favorite blog?"

Wyatt raised an eyebrow. "You wanna kill some time while we wait?" he asked coolly.

"You wouldn't mind?" Caitlin asked brightly. Her partner shook his head and she squealed. "Thanks Wyatt!" she said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and dashing out of the cab.

\

Another French tune played as the camera cut to the Sisters, Emma was reading a book with the scales of justice on the front while Kitty sketched her. "So...," Kitty said slowly. "Are you seeing anyone new at university?"

"Yeah," Emma said icily. "His name's international and comparative anti-trust law curriculum."

"I'm thinking of getting a pixie cut," Kitty said after a moment of silence.

XXX

KITTY AND EMMA; SISTERS

"Emma's always been the serious one," Kitty told the camera. "But ever since her boyfriend Jake broke up with her two years ago," Emma rolled her eyes, "she's been _suuuuper_-"

"Fine!" Emma interrupted, slapping a hand over her sister's face. "I've been super _fine_. And I don't _need _a boyfriend," she added. "I need a law degree. And I need my kid sister to focus on the game," she said with a slight glare.

"And a boyfriend," Kitty snakred as soon as Emma removed her hand.

Emma groaned in frustration.

XXX

The music turned tense as teams from the second flight arrived at the tower The screen split into two with the Don Box being pressed on the top and Junior grabbing a sketchpad on the bottom.

The shot pulled back to show the Stepbrothers and Mom and Daughter running off as the Adversity Twins made it to the table. "Come on Mickey!" Jay encouraged as his brother shakily tried to grab a pencil. "Show that pencil who's boss! There's two of us and just one of it!"

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JAY AND MICKEY; ADVERSITY TWINS

"It was a Tuesday morning," Jay said as their leitmotif played. "Mickey's pencil case broke. Pencils were everywhere. He slipped on one and fell down the stairs landing on pencils the whole. Way. Down. He's been afraid of them ever since."

"I can work just as well with a pen," Mickey added. "As long as they don't burst and ruin my shirt..." he sighed. "Which has happened."

XXX

The camera cut to a drawing of Malcolm running away from a falling Eiffel Tower, then to the artist handing Noah their next tip. They ran toward the catacombs just in time for Marley to hand in his picture, Rasta eating the famous tower, that made the artist laugh as he handed the boy his tip.

"Like what's so funny man?" Rasta asked as his partner pulled him away.

\

A goat illuminated by headlights was the subject of the next scene change. The camera cut to the inside of a cab to show that Gerry and Pete had fallen asleep, only to be jostled awake by the stopping vehicle. "Huh?" Gerry asked sleepily, "are we there?"

"You old men never told me where to go," the cab driver told them.

"Hey," Pete said in offence. "We're old-_er_ but that doesn't make us old."

XXX

GERRY AND PETE: TENNIS RIVALS

"We got all the same energy as all the other teams," Gerry said, "from about five a.m to three p.m.," he admitted.

"Yeah," Pete shrugged, "after that we get a little groggy."

Gerry chuckled. "Groggy? I haven't seen the moon since 2003." They both laughed.

"Oh really?" Pete asked. "'Cause I got a moon for ya. Right here!" he pointed at his butt and the two men laughed again.

XXX

"To the Eiffel Tower!" Gerry told the driver. "And hurry!"

The cab drove off.

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(Commercial Break)

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The episode returned to a pile of skulls as the Dater's leitmotif played. "If you got the plague," Ryan said as the camera cut to him and Stephanie holding hands, "I would throw myself on your boil-covered body and wait until I got infected so we could both die at the same time in the same way."

"That is," Stephanie said and Ryan looked sheepish, "the _sweetest_ thing anyone has ever said to me!" the two started to make out.

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The scene skipped to Angel and Bridgette also walking through the catacombs while holding hands. "Are you okay Bridgey-Bear?" Angel asked when she noticed her girlfriend nervously looking around.

"Sorry," Bridgette said sheepishly. "I'm just really nervous about being underground after Total Drama. I keep waiting for something to jump out and attack."

"Don't worry," Angel said sweetly, leaning in closer. "If something does attack, I'll protect you."

Bridgette smiled. "Thanks Angelfish."

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"Remember," Emma said without looking up from her book. "It has to have at least _four_ exaggerations to be a caricature."

Kitty scoffed mirthfully. "I have _way_ more than that!"

"Do you wanna look alive in this?" Ennui asked as the camera cut to the Goths.

"Let's hope you're better at drawing than javelin throwing," Steven joked as the shot cut to him and Tyler.

XXX

TYLER AND STEVEN; JOCKS

"I never heard Patches complain about my javelin skills," Tyler huffed.

Steven snorted. "Yeah," but before you demonstrated those skills we all called him Edward."

XXX

TOM AND JEN; FASHION BLOGGERS

"Getting that flat tire was the best thing that ever happened to us," Jen said, the camera cutting to them at the base of the tower and surrounded by boutique shopping bags.

"I've never shopped so fast in another language in my life," Tom added.

"_So_ worth it though," Jen finished. "I mean finding rock-studded leggings in North America? Good luck."

"Truth," Tom said.

XXX

WYATT AND CAITLIN; MALLRATS

"So you spent all that time shopping and didn't even talk to them?" Wyatt mockingly asked his blushing partner.

"I tried to open my mouth, by my hands got all sweaty and no sound was coming out!" Caitlin complained. "I must have looked like a total loon!"

XXX

A drumroll played as the shot screen cut into seven segments: Carrie presenting her not at all exaggerated drawing of Devin in the top left, Junior presenting a mostly stick figure Dwayne lecturing in the middle left, Mickey presenting a badly drawn Jay in the bottom left, Tyler presenting a drawing of Steven with arms reaching his feet in the top right, Cody presenting a drawing of a mass of hair with Beardo's face in the middle right, Reef presenting his drawing of Broseph's head on an anthropomorphic surfboard in the bottom right, and the judge rubbing his chin then giving a thumbs-up in the middle.

"Let's go dude!" Reef yelled from the entrance to the catacombs as Broseph, closely followed by the other five teams that had just finished the drawing challenge, ran to the manhole.

"Ugh," Jay groaned with a roll of his eyes. "I hope I don't catch the plague again."

"Again?" Cody asked as he, Tyler and Beardo slowly backed away from the twins.

\

The camera cut to three taxis arriving at the tower as intense music began to play. They drove off revealing the Rockers, Tennis Rivals, and Vegans. The Rockers and Vegans ran off with Pete grabbing Gerry and dragging him to the tower with a cry of "Come on, Come on!"

XXX

PETE AND GERRY; TENNIS RIVALS

"It's nice to be back on TV," Gerry said calmly as their leitmotif played. "All our sponsorships dried out a few years ago."

Pete barked out a laugh. "Try thirty!"

"Yeah," Gerry laughed. "The last time _he_," he pointed at his partner, "did a commercial, the internet didn't exist!"

"And neither did the hair on _your_ ears!" Pete added before the two laughed again.

XXX

The intense music started then stopped as the camera cut to the Police Cadets skidding to a stop in the catacombs near three entrances. MacArthur sniffed around the tombs much to her partner's confusion.

"Okay, _what_ are you doing?" Sanders asked in a mixture of curiosity and exasperation.

"I've trained my nose so I can work border crossings," MacArthur said by way of explanation. "People think they can bring oranges into any country they want. Not on _my_ watch!" she finished with a decisive hand gesture. She sniffed the air one more time and pointed to the middle entrance. "This one!" she decided. "I'm goin' in!"

She ran into the corridor and immediately screamed in terror. Sanders perked up and ran after her partner...

...only to stop dead in her tracks and give an utterly unamused look down. "Get it off me!" MacArthur cried out as the camera pulled back to show her under a skeleton.

"As the Parisian catacombs extend a warm welcome to _some_ of the teams," Don narrated as the scene shrunk to the left half of the screen and revealed Tom posing for Jen with the Stepbrothers and Geniuses behind them on the right half, "others are still drawing the first challenge to a conclusion," the right half grew and took over the screen, then the camera panned to the right past Wyatt and Caitlin to show Kelly and Taylor, the Goths, and the Sisters.

The host chuckled as Jen presented her caricature. "Drawing. See what I did there?" One by one, teams showed their drawings to the judge: the Fashion Bloggers with a picture of Tome with exaggerated lips posing with a hand on his head and another on his hip, the Rockers with what looked like Spud's head on Rock's body playing guitar. They air guitared in celebration of completing the challenge. Next, Caitlin presented a picture of an eighth note with Wyatt's head as the note head, then Kitty presented a drawing of Emma with devil horns and a black cloud over her. She shrugged uncaringly at her older sister's glare. Neither the Stepbrothers nor the Goths' drawings were shown, but the judge gave both of them a thumb's up, and finally Taylor presented a drawing of her mother looking very much like the Bride of Frankinstein. The judge backed away in horror, but gave them the tip all the same.

"Mind if I keep this to give to my surgeon?" Kelly asked appreciatively.

\

"How hard is it to find cheese?" Malcolm complained as the camera flashed to him, Noah, and the Slackers running through the catacombs.

"If _any_ of us was in the lead before, we're not now," Noah said as the group passed a skull.

"Wait a minute," Marley spoke up. "Haven't we seen tat skull b'fore?"

The four boys skidded to a stop. "Aw man, we're going in circles!" Noah complained.

Rasta's stomach growled ominously. "Like that's not all that's goin' in circles man!," he panicked. "Like, has anybody seen a bathroom!"

XXX

MARLEY

"Somethin' in tat stew," Marley said in the catacombs as Rasta ran around the background clutching his behind. "Didn't agree with Rasta too much."

XXX

The scene cut to the Bromance Bros as the skidded to a stop. "Aw man," Brody complained after looking at a wall of skulls. "That's the third dead end we've hit."

"Chill dude," Geoff told him. "If we find all the dead ends, the only path left is the right one."

XXX

BRODY AND GEOFF: BROMANCE BROS

"We're both glass half-full kinda guys," Geoff told the camera. "So, I just pour my glass into his and, we've got a full glass."

"Take that science!" Brody jeered before the two laughed.

"Boom!" they said as they bumped fists.

XXX

The camera cut to a drawing of Pete as a baby, then zoomed out to show the caricature judge hand the Tennis Rivals their next travel tip. The shot then panned right to show Laurie presenting a drawing of a flower with Miles's face and the judge giving them a tip as well.

Both teams ran to the catacombs entrance, and the Tennis Rivals let the Vegans pass them with smirks on their faces.

XXX

PETE AND GERRY: TENNIS RIVALS

"I've got a plan," Pete said. "We'll follow the veggie-heads then _rocket_ past them," he clapped his hands together and stretched out and arm, "and win the whole thing."

"Veggie-heads!" Gerry laughed.

XXX

The shot cut to Cody and Beardo running through the catacombs, then shifted to their point-of-view to show a dark hallway with two pair of glowing eyes appear out of nowhere. Cody screamed and jumped into his partner's arms, and the shot returned to normal to show the Goths slowly walking on screen. "You scared us," Cody said just before Beardo dropped him.

"This place is a little..." Beardo said before mimicking a theremin, "y'know?"

"Really," Ennui asked. "I've never been so happy."

XXX

CRIMSON AND ENNUI: GOTHS

"This place could be an amusement park or a camp for kids," Ennui said in the catacombs.

XXX

The shot cut to MacArthur sniffing the air in front of a staircase. "Roquefort," she explained to her skeptical partner. "Cave aged about..." she sniffed again, "three years."

Sanders's eyes widened. "Hey, do you hear running water?" she asked and both ladies turned to th stairs behind them.

\

The scene skipped ahead a bit to the Cadets exiting a small building with a skull over the entrance on the banks of the Seine River to see several stacks of very large wheels of cheese. "Yeah!" MacArthur cheered. "That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!"

A masculine throat clearing caught their attention, and they turned to see the Ice Dancers behind them as their leitmotif began to play. "Oh," MacArthur said mockingly. "If it isn't the Smiling Silvertons."

Jacques and Josee looked at each other, then she walked over to the cheese and angrily kicked over a stack while still smiling. "I hate silver!"

Jacques smiled for the camera, then read the tip that was uncovered by his partner's outburst. "Take your cheese and sail away to where the Mona Lisa's on display."

"The Louvre!" Sanders announced.

\

"The Louvre!" Don said over another French tune as the camera panned over to the pyramid in the courtyard. "Home to many paintings I was asked to stop touching," he added over a shot of the Mona Lisa.

"It's also the Chill Zone for this part of the race," he said as the shot cut to him in front of the pyramid. "Last team to check in here..." the camera panned out to show the courtyard in its entirety, "may be out of the running.

\

"But the race for _first_ place is kicking into high gear!" the host finished as wo wheels of cheese hit the river, and Jacques landed on one on his knee with his hands above his head. Josee landed in such a way that his hands were all that was supporting her.

"Bye!" Josee said mockingly. "You stink worse than this cheese float.

"Too bad you forgot your _oars_!" MacArthur snarked back as her partner waved said oars in the air.

"Jacques," Josee said in a warning tone. "You were supposed to get the oars!"

"Darn, it!" he swore.

"What's French for 'Boo-yah!'?" MacArthur asked Sanders as the Cadets passed the Ice Dancers.

\

"If this is what Frecnh cheese smells like," Gerry said as the camera cut to the Tennis Rivals and the Vegans in the catacombs, "I'm officially lactose intolerant." The two men chuckled.

"I'm officially _you_ intolerant Pete told his partner, causing the two to chuckle again.

"Yeah," Noah deadpanned as the shot cut to them standing in front of the two teams. "Expect that smell to bell all over this place.

XXX

NOAH AND MALCOLM: REALITY TV PROS

"Man that Rasta guy knows how to clear a room," Malcolm said.

"I don't even think the washrooms on the island smelled that bad," Noah commented.

XXX

"It is so creepy in here," Tom complained to Wyatt and Caitlin. "I feel like I'm being watched."

"Hey Tom," Jen's voice caught the attention of the three on screen as well as the camera. "I have a _bone_ to pick with you," the camera pulled back to show she was using a skeleton like a puppet. All four racers laughed, but their laughter quickly ended as an ominous rumbled sounded throughout the catacombs.

They looked behind them to see a monstrous shadow and all four screamed and ran away, with Tom dropping a shopping bag in the process. He came back ,grabbed it, and ran away screaming again and the camera cut to the shadow to show it was nothing but a tiny mouse, who laughed at scaring the racers.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode returned to Devin on a cheese float and catching Carrie in his arms bridal style. "M'lady," he said with a charming bow after setting her down, causing her to giggle and blush.

Intense challenge music started up again as several more cheese floats were dropped in the river, and the scene skipped ahead to show the Goths, Mom and Daughter, Adversity Twins, Sweethearts, Daters, and Outcasts all in a dead heat.

The camera quick panned up the river to show the Police Cadets enjoying their lead.. until MacArthur looked back in shock. "No _way_!" she exclaimed.

The shot panned back to show the Ice Dancers using their legs as motors to get down river as their leitmotif played.

XXX

JOSEE AND JACQUES: ICE DANCERS

"Missing paddles?!" Jacques asked. "Hah! That won't stop us!"

"We've competed in much more dire situations," Josee explained. "Jacques once got rabies from a squirrel but that didn't stop us!"

"I skated dressed as a Saint Bernard so all the foam coming from my mouth made sense!" Jacques told the camera.

"Adapting!" Josee declared it's what champions do!"

XXX

The Ice Dancers passed the Cadets as their theme music came to an end. "Those two get creepier by the minute," MacArthur whispered to her partner.

\

"Most of the teams have reached the water," Don narrated over a shot of the Sisters, Jocks, Surfer Dudes, Bromance Bros, and Mom and Daughter on their cheese floats as dramatic music played.

"But for those still in the catacombs," he continued as the shot cut to the Vegans and Tennis Rivals, "the big challenge is to _not_ come in last."

XXX

PETE AND GERRY: TENNIS RIVALS

"We've made a terrible mistake," Pete admitted.

"I thought Vegans would be able to sniff out dairy in a _second_," Gerry added.

"Go home now," Pete said, and we'll be lucky grab a sponsorship for tube socks. And I _hate_ tube socks! You never know where to put your heel!" he complained while gesturing to his feet.

"And there goes the deal for tube socks," Gerry sighed. Disappointment that was short-lived as the two men laughed once again.

XXX

"There's the tip!" Noah shouted as he, Malcolm and the Slackers made it out of the catacombs.

"Check out all that cheese!" Malcolm said as he knocked a wheel into the river while Noah grabbed some oars. "We're still in this!"

Marley hummed in thought as he read the tip. "Okay, I'll get the oars and you-" he turned around and gasped in horror. "Stop Rasta mon!"

"What?" Rasta said in defense as the camera cut to him having eaten a tenth of the cheese wheel. "Cheese is good for you man."

\

"The Louvre!" Josee cried out as the camera flashed to her and Jacques. "Over there!" They lept off the cheese and onto a ramp leading to the Chill Zone, but stopped and waved for the camera naturally letting the Cadets pass them. Jacques ran to get the cheese and they both ran to regain their lead.

The music got intense as the Ice Dancers closed in on the Cadets, but they just couldn't catch up and Sanders and MacArthur were the first to the carpet.

"Well well Lady Cadets," Don said, "you're in first place. And the Ice Dancers have to settle for silver."

MacArthur started some strange butt-shaking dance while grunting as the Ice Dancers made it to the mat. "What?" she asked them. "Don't hear the victory music? Probably because you didn't _win_!"

Josee's eye twitched.

\

The camera cut to Kelly and Taylor silently rowing their cheese down the river, then quick-panned to the right to show the Best Friends doing the same, then again to show the Slackers also doing so... on a much smaller raft.

"Stop eatin' da boat!" Marley complained as Rasta ate another chunk of cheese."

"I can't help it," Rasta half laughed half cried. "I'm so hungry, like I could eat this whole thing."

"Time to put this cheese into _overdrive_!" Ryan declared dramatically. He tossed his oar in the air... and missed completely, the camera briefly cut to the oar floating down the river.

"Oops," he said before turning to Stephanie. "Babe toss me your oar. I'll double time it!" He declared holding out his hand with his eyes closed. She did as instructed, also with closed eyes, and Ryan predictably missed that one as well. The shot briefly cut to the oar floating away and back to Ryan as he sighed in disappointment while Stephanie glared at him.

XXX

RYAN AND STEPHANIE: DATERS

"I'm sorry I let you down babe," Ryan said remorsefully as their leitmotif played.

"It's alright Sugarbumps," Stephanie said, "as long as you _never_ let it happen again."

XXX

Intense challenge music began to play as the scene cut to the Slackers swimming through the river. "We gotta hurry man!" Rasta cried out.

The scene shrank to the left half of the screen, showing Tom balancing all the Bloggers' shopping bags on their raft on the right.

"Whoa!" Jen called out as she tossed him the last bag. "Don't let those get wet!"

"Don't worry. I'll keep things balances" he told her with a smile that quickly turned into a frown. "But I'm thinking you're gonna have to swim."

"I'll do it," Jen said dramatically, "for the _clothing_!"

Tom gasped.

XXX

JEN AND TOM: FASHION BLOGGERS

"This is a _huge_ sacrifice," Tom explained as Jen st there with a determined and almost angry expression. "She only lets her beautician wash her hair.

XXX

WYATT AND CAITLIN: MALLRATS

"So we had a lot of fun hanging out with the Bloggers," Caitlin told her partner.

"Some more than others," Wyatt smirked.

"It's not my fault you're not a shopper!" she said defensively. "My _point_ was that we should try and form an alliance with them."

"I figured you'd asked that," he said with a knowing grin.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Caitlin asked. Seriously. what?" she added when he didn't say anything.

XXX

Challenge music started up again as the shot cut to Geoff and Brody making it to the Chill Zone. "Third place," Don told them.

XXX

BRODY AND GEOFF; BROMANCE BROS

"Aw yeah!" the two said while bumping chests.

XXX

"Fourth!" the Best Friends appeared in the top left. "Fifth!" Father and Son appeared in the top middle. "Sixth!" The Stepbrothers appeared in the top right. "Seventh!" the Jocks appeared in the bottom left. "Ninth!" the Surfer Dudes appeared in the bottom right.

The scene cut to the Vegans getting ready to row their cheese, only for the Tennis Rivals to land in the water ahead of them. They blew raspberries at the girls and sailed away.

XXX

GERRY AND PETE: TENNIS RIVALS

"The thing is," Pete started, "your age is all in your mind."

"And in your joints!" Gerry added.

"And it has a little to do with the year you were born," Pete finished causing the two men laughed again.

XXX

"And here come some more teams!" Don said was the challenge music stared again.

"Ninth place!" He said as the Mallrats appeared in the top of the screen. "Tenth!" The Fashion Bloggers appeared in the bottom left. "Eleventh!" The Sweethearts appeared in the bottom right.

The three teams disappeared and more were announced.

"Twelfth!" the Daters appeared in the top left. "Thirteenth!" the Geniuses appeared in the top right. "The Sisters are in fourteenth!" Emma and Kitty appeared in the bottom left, "Reality TV Pros fifteenth!" Noah and Malcolm appeared in the bottom right.

"And if it isn't mister appetite himself," Don finished as the Slackers made it to the Carpet. "Twenty minute penalty!" he declared and a red digital clock graphic with 20:00 appeared over them with a buzz.

"But like why man?!" Rasta complained.

"The tip said to sail the _cheese_ down the river," Don explained. "Not swim."

"But I _ate_ the cheese!" Rasta complained. "Doesn't that count?!"

"You'd think so, but no," Don mocked. "Now step aside and hope you aren't the last to place."

\

"With one team waiting foe their penalty to end," Don narrated over a shot of Cody and Beardo sailing past the Vegans and Tennis Rivals, "the last seven teams are battling toward the Carpet of Completion," he finished as Lauri and Miles glanced and each other and smirked.

XXX

LAURIE AND MILES: VEGANS

"The thought of coming in last made us realize we needed to step up our game," Laurie explained over their leitmotif while her partner nodded excitedly.

"Yeah," Miles added. "We were super charged up."

XXX

The camera cut back to the Tennis Rivals comfortably enjoying their lead until the Vegans sped past them. "How is that possible?" Gerry asked incredulously. "We're _athletes_! They eat birdseed and _dust_!"

The Outcasts were the next to be shocked by the Vegans's sudden speed. "Whoa," Cody said in awe. "Maybe we should go vegan."

"Maybe," Beardo agreed.

\

"Sixteenth place!" Don announced as Mom and Daughter appeared in the top of the screen.

"Seventeenth!" The Adversity Twins appeared in the bottom left.

"Eighteenth!" the Goths appeared in the bottom right.

"Looks like someone's got the cheese sweats," the host joked as the camera cut to Rasta and Marley, the former sweating profusely as their penalty counted down from 5:18 to 5:14.

The camera zoomed out to show the Vegans wheel their cheese past the Carpet. "Nineteenth place!" the host announced. "Outcasts in twentieth," Cody and Beardo rolled their cheese past the carpet followed by Rock and Spud. "And the Rockers take twenty-first!" He finished over a short electric guitar chord.

"Oh no man!" Rasta declared whiled pointing off the the left as their counter hit 3:19. "Like here come the Tennis Rivals!"

XXX

MARLEY AND RASTA: SLACKERS

"Aw man," Rasta sighed. "Like I'll be so bummed if my love of food get us eliminated. and you wanna know the worst part?"

Marley raised an eyebrow.

"Like I'm still hungry!" Rasta wailed while holding his stomach

"You gotta be kidding mon!" Marley said in complete shock. "Where do it all go?!"

XXX

The music turned tense as the scene cut to Pete trying to pull the wheel of cheese up the stairs while Gerry pushed up with his back. Pete briefly let go causing the cheese to roll back down and crush Gerry.

Three separate and distinct scare chords played as the penalty clock took over the screen and counted down from 2:18 to 2:15

The Tennis Rivals finally managed to get their cheese up the stairs and were slowly trying to carry their cheese to the Carpet. The music turned slow as the camera pulled back to show they were being passed by a snail.

XXX

PETE AND GERRY: TENNIS RIVALS

Pete chuckled. "It was looking pretty grim."

"I needed a nap," Gerry admitted.

"You sleep at least eight hours a day," Pete pointed out.

"And at least ten at night," Gerry joked causing the men to laugh again.

XXX

The music turned tense as the Tennis Rivals started making better progress towards the carpet. The penalty clock took over the screen and counted down the last three seconds before the camera cut back to both the Tennis Rivals and the Slackers at the edge of the Carpet.

"Slackers your penalty is up!" Don popped up on screen to announce. The four men narrowed their eyes at each other and all jumped to the off-screen Carpet.

The shot cut to the Carpet if Completion to show the four men in a heap on the ground. "It's a tie," Gerry said. "We all get to stay!"

"Not quite," Don said, the camera pulling back to show him and the fact that Gerry's leg wasn't o the Carpet. "I'm afraid you're going home."

"What?!" Pete asked indignantly. "Why?!"

"Your foot wasn't completely on the Carpet," the hist explained plainly. "It was just out."

"What?!" Gerry stood up to yell. "Do you need glasses fool! That foot was in the line!"

"I do not need glasses and your foot was out," Don repeated.

"It was in!" Gerry yelled in the host's face.

"It was out," Don repeated.

"_In_!"

"Out," Don was now in Gerry's face.

"_Iiiin_!"

"That's match, you're out," Don said pointing a thumb over his shoulder.

\

"Well," Pete said before letting out a brief laugh over a clip of the two being introduced, "_that_ was a disaster," he finished over a clip of them on the sky walk in Toronto.

"At least we didn't go home first," Gerry said cheerfully over a clip of them making their way to the airport in Toronto.

"Yeah," Pete added over a clip of them on the zipline in the first episode. "Now we got a shot at nabbing some new sponsors!"

"Anyone need a pitchman for some arthritis cream or those bathtubs with the doors so you don't have to step over it," Gerry said over clips of them mocking the Vegans at on the River, slowly walking their cheese to the Carpet of Completion, and smirking as they let the Vegans pass them after the caricature challenge.

"Who's your agent?" Pete asked over a clip of them waking up in the taxi.

"It's been so long, I can't remember," Gerry answered, the montage ending and the scene cutting to them sailing down the river on another cheese float as they laughed.

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note Post Script:** Not the most surprising elimination, but as much as I love Gerry and Pete there's just not they offer past comedic relief. And I'm not in short supply of that here.

Caitlin and Jen are making progress though. Caitlin's already got a massive crush of the blogger, she just doesn't know it yet. Wyatt does, because that's funny to me.

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

**RDP: TRR ELIMINATION TABLE:**

**24th Place:** _Band Geeks_ \- Andrew and Elliot

**23rd Place:** _Tennis Rivals_ \- Gerry and Pete


	4. Mediterranean Homesick Blues

**Author's Note:** Finally finished. It's probably as good as I'm gonna get it, and it's still kinda slow paced as the main plot hasn't really picked up yet. But you'll soon see why I had to work to get it right.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

_**Knight:**_ I never had to do the summer class thing, but I hope everything worked out well for you.

_**WeirdAlfan101:**_ Glad to be back. My thoughts exactly on the Tennis Rivals

_**Critica7:**_ I guess they just agree to work together in challenges.

_**StarHeart Specials:**_ Yep!

_**Derick Lindsey:**_ Eh, stuff's still happening but it's just gotten more manageable. I loved Gerry and Pete, but like you said not much can be done with them Nope, but Marley did have to deal with his partner's appetite almost screwing them over. I have to admit, Dwayne and Junior really grew on me in canon. As for the rest, wait and see.

_**Tempokeep:**_ Eh, I mean, I like the Tennis Rivals, but not much can be done with them. And I don't have a lot of room for plot-less teams.

_**Phenomenal Ultra Instinct:**_ Placements in the race will be different from canon. That's just not one of them. And I'm tight-lipped on Jenlin for now.

_**That British Guy:**_ I'd like to think Jenlin would be interesting.

_**bruno14:**_ I also noticed the lack of Ridonculous Race fanfiction. Which sucks because that's a good season. I'm glad you like the extra teams. Sorry to boot the Band Geeks so soon. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting people to like them so much. Yeah, not a lot I could do with the Tennis Rivals. Glad you like the Jenlin ship though.

_**Remaining Teams:**_

_**Adversity Twins:**_ Jay and Mickey, _**Best Friends:**_ Carrie and Devin, _**Bromance Bros:**_ Brody and Geoff, _**Daters:**_ Ryan and Stephanie, _**Fashion Bloggers:**_ Jen and Tom, _**Father and Son:**_ Dwayne and Junior, _**Geniuses:**_ Ellody and Mary, _**Goths:**_ Crimson and Ennui, _**Ice Dancers:**_ Jacques and Josee, _**Jocks:**_ Steven and Tyler, _**Mallrats:**_ Caitlin and Wyatt, _**Mom and Daughter:**_ Kelly and Taylor, _**Outcasts:**_ Beardo and Cody, _**Police Cadets:**_ MacArthur and Sanders, _**Reality TV Pros:**_ Malcolm and Noah, _**Rockers:**_ Rock and Spud, _**Sisters:**_ Emma and Kitty, _**Slackers:**_ Marley and Rasta, _**Stepbrothers:**_ Chet and Lorenzo, _**Surfer Dudes:**_ Broseph and Reef, _**Sweethearts:**_ Angel and Bridgette, _**Vegans:**_ Laurie and Miles

Time for fun in the sun

* * *

**Episode 04: Mediterranean Homesick Blues**

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race," Don said over the show's title card before the montage began with a plane touching down and a shot of the Eiffel Tower as the show's theme song played, "Teams traveled to Paris where there wills were tested," he continued over a shot of MacArthur under a skeleton to her partner's shock, "their artistic limits were pushed," Brody was shown struggling to hold his pose as Geoff sketched him, "their bravery was challenged," an ominous shadow was show, followed by the Fashion Bloggers and Mallrats screaming. "And Rasta ate more cheese than was scientifically possible," he added over a shot of Rasta holding a wheel of cheese with several bites taken out of it as a French tune played.

"In the end it was the Police Cadets who locked up first place," he continued as Sanders and MacArthur were shown wheeling their cheese to the Carpet of Completion, the regular recap theme starting up again, "but for the Tennis Rivals," Pete and Gerry were shown mocking the Vegans, "it was game set and somebody light a match!" the Vegans were shown passing the Tennis Rivals, "Because man did they stink!" they were shown being overtaken by a snail.

"Who will stink it up _this_ week?" Don asked as the recap mintage ended and the scene flashed to him at the Parisian Chill Zone. "Oh they all have potential. Stay tuned, 'cause it's time for," the camera zoomed in for a close-up, "The Ridonculous _Race_!" He raised one eyebrow, lowered the other, and flashed a smile so white it served as the flash that transitioned to the opening sequence.

**XXXXX**

[Unlike the opening sequence of Total Drama, the opening sequence for The Ridonculous Race is instrumental. The intro begins with an overview of the Earth before a hand holding a Travel Tip appears. The camera zooms in, revealing the silhouettes of all twenty-four teams running in three rows: the top row held from left to right the Fashion Bloggers, Mallrats, Adversity Twins, Rockers, Vegans, Slackers, Tennis Rivals, and Jocks running to the right against a blue city street background; the second row had from left to right Father and Son, Police Cadets, Goths, Sweethearts, Daters, Sisters, Bromance Bros, and Surfer Dudes running to the left against a golden desert background; and the bottom row held from left to right the Best Friends, Geniuses, Outcasts, Ice Dancers, Stepbrothers, Band Geeks, Mom and Daughter, and the Reality TV Pros running to the right against a green jungle background . The scene shifts to a map of the world, showing the visited countries being highlighted by yellow dots. The camera zooms in on one of those dots and it becomes the background as three postcards depicting the inside of a fancy restaurant, a beautiful and nondescript beach, and the Parisian skyline are 'thrown' onto it. A Travel Tip then cuts the scene into three sections, each showing the silhouette of a different mode of transportation that are used throughout the race; a train against a gold background, a plane against a blue sky background, and a bus against a green background all three heading to the right. A taxi stops by and opens its door as the camera zooms in, showing pictures of all twenty-four teams each appearing during one of the ending flourish of notes. In the end, the scene cuts to the main logo of the Ridonculous Race with a plane that flies across the screen, spinning the N.]

**XXXXX**

"Yesterday's Chill Zone was the Louvre," Don said as the episode began with the camera panning across the roof of the famous museum. "Which is today's starting point."

The camera flashed to the host walking toward the carpet. "Teams will start in the order that they finished. Which means the Cadets are-" the camera pulled back to show the Ice Dancers walking toward the Don Box. "Whoa whoa whoa!" he told them while holding up his hand. "Slow your roll Ice Capades, yesterday's winners go first."

Footsteps caught the attention of them and the camera, and it pulled back to show the Police Cadets standing nearby and frowning. "Yeah," MacArthur scoffed. "Relax Silver Streak."

"Wait your turn!" Sanders yelled.

XXX

SANDERS AND MACARTHUR: POLICE CADETS

"I've got my eye on those Ice Dancers," MacArthur told the camera. "Give them an inch and they'll take the whole race."

Sanders nodded her agreement.

XXX

Sanders mashed the button to the Don Box and took the tip. "Take the train to the coast of the Mediterranean at Calanque de Maubois," she read as tense music began to play, "and search the station for your next travel tip."

\

"Teams must take the train south to Calanque de Maubois," Don narrated as the show's map appeared centered on France, a green Eiffel Tower in Paris's general location. The tower turned yellow, and a dotted red line moved southeast to a green beach umbrella at the Mediterranean coast. The umbrella turned yellow when the line arrived.

French music played as the scene cut to a postcard depicting the same fancy restaurant in the intro sequence appeared was thrown over the French flag. "Calanque de Maubois skirts the Mediterranean at the south of France," Don popped up in the postcard, "with sand so fine, you _want_ it to get in your shorts."

A picturesque setting of red cliff slid in from the right. "The red cliffs are just _one_ of the sights that make this a popular tourist site."

"Did I mention the beaches are awesome?" the host asked as the scene flashed to him on a nondescript beach. The camera panned down to a crab on top of a sandcastle glaring at Don's backside. The crab raised it's claw. "Because they _are_," he finished as the shot cut to a close up of his face just in time for him to yelp in pain at the sound of a snap.

\

The scene split into three: Jacques mashing the Don Box on the top, he and Josee reading the travel tip in the bottom left, and the Bromance Bros in the bottom right with Geoff shouting 'Go!"

Tense music played ass the two teams ran off, then the camera panned to show the Best Friends mash the button to the Don Box. As Devin went to grab the tip, a blue-skinned hand grabbed it and the shot pulled back to show a mime had stolen the tip. "Give me that back!" Devin shouted as the mime ran off, him chasing after it.

The camera pulled back to show Junior waling over to Carrie, and a slightly romantic tune played as the camera showed the blonde against a pink background and surrounded by sparkles. She smiled at him, and he was shown with the same effects smiling back.

"Hey," Junior said before coughing and deepening his voice. "Hey. I'm _Dwayne_."

"Hi," she said back ."I'm Carrie."

The same tune from before played as her hand was shown with the same pink background. He reached out to shake it and just before they touched, another hand shook the girls accompanied by a record scratch.

"Nice to meet ya," Dwayne said as the camera pulled back to show the older man was the culprit. "Dwayne Sr. I see you've already met Junior," he said with a nod to his son. "This kid," he gave his son a noogie as Carrie smiled on, "what a great little guy!"

"_Dad_!" Junior hissed.

"I mean he acts up sometimes," Dwayne continued, "but that happens as the near puberty." Junior's eyes widened and Carrie sent the boy a sympathetic but amused look.

"Come on homie!" Devin said with tip in hand. "He grabbed her hand with his free one, and the two lingered and smiled at each other before running off.

Junior groaned and walked away

XXX

JUNIOR AND DWAYNE: FATHER & SON

"My dad _always_ finds a way to embarrass me," Junior told the camera.

Dwayne chuckled. "Now that's not true son," he said. "You're just being self-conscious. Oh!" he exclaimed while digging in his pocket. "I almost forgot. I washed your lucky undies," he told the boy, handing him a pair of four-leaf clover patterned boxers.

"_Dad_!" Junior whined.

XXX

The standard tense music played as the camera cut to the Cadets on a sidewalk in front of a Parisian clothing store. "Taxi!" Sanders called out as a cab passed them by. "Taxi!" two more passed them. "Taxi?" Three more.

"There are so many cabs here," she complained as the shot cut in closer. "Why aren't they stopping?"

"No prob," MacArthur grinned. "I got this," she pushed her partner aside, and the shot cut to the wheels of an orange taxi screeching to a halt. The camera cut to the inside of a cab, where a middle-aged white man was staring in shock at MacArthur holding up her badge. "Police!" she said. "We're commandeering this vehicle. _Maggot_."

Sanders watched on in horror.

XXX

MACARTHUR AND SANDERS: POLICE CADETS

"I'm a little concerned," Sanders said as the shot cut to them in the street. "MacArthur can be kind of... aggressive."

"What?" her partner said flatly. "I dare you to say that again!" Sanders backed off and she laughed. "Come on. I'm kidding. It's a joke, lighten up." She got in her partner's face. "Seriously. Do it! Lighten up!"

XXX

The camera cut to the Ice Dancers running over to a set of downwards stairs with white tile walls on each side. "The su_bway_!" Jacques said in between pants to a dramatic tune. "It's the fastest way to the train sta_tion_!"

They ran down the staircase, and were closely followed by the Bros.

XXX

GEOFF AND BRODY: BROMANCE BROS

"Our strategy's pretty simple," Brody told the camera from what could be assumed to be the subway station. "Instead of trying to figure out how to get somewhere _ourselves_, we just follow a team that's smarter than us."

"And pretty much _everyone's_ smarter than us dude," Geoff chimed in. "So we're golden."

"Wicked," the two bumped fists.

XXX

"Take the train station to Calanque de Maubois," Mary said as the camera cut to the Geniuses at the Louvre. They ran off and the camera lingered to show the Sisters were next to the Don Box.

"Alright teammate of mine!" Kitty said cheerfully as the TV Pros showed up. "Let's have some _fun_!"

"No," Emma corrected as she mashed the button for the Don Box. "Let's come in _first_ for a change." She read the tip as Noah and Malcolm ran off. "Train station. Let's go!" she ran off as well, leaving Kitty behind.

"Woohoo!" she cheered. "Fun!"

"Stop it," Emma said from off screen.

\

"I need directions Sanders," MacArthur said as the camera cut to them in the front seat of the cab they 'borrowed' earlier, the driver sitting nervously in the backseat.

Sanders searched through the glove box for a bit then groaned. "I can't find the map."

MacArthur grinned. "Time for bad cop," she said. The shot briefly cut to the wheels screeching to a stop and back to the cab as MacArthur yelled in the cabbie's face. "Train station! Directions! _Now_!" Each command was punctuated by a sharp note in the music and the cabbie sinking further into his seat.

The shot cut to a rear-end view of the cab driving off.

\

The shot cut to the Surfers as they ran through the streets of Paris. Though they were keeping a similar pace, Reef sweating far heavier than his hairy partner. "Ha!" Reef laughed. "I bet you can't beat me to the train station!"

Broseph smirked, then sped up. Reef groaned, then tripped and fell out of frame. When he got up, he noticed his pants had fallen down. The pixelation seen made it clear he was going commando.

Broseph walked back to his partner and sighed. "_That's_ why I won't let you borrow my board shorts dude," he said. "Now fix that and let's go!"

\

A flash took the scene to a brown-skinned hand grabbing a travel tip. "While Rasta and Marley are the last to take off from the starting line," Don narrated as the Slackers were shown leaving the Louvre, "the first seven teams are about to leave the station," the Ice Dancers, Bros, Cadets, Jocks, Father and Son, Best Friends, and Broseph were shown running past the camera in front of a train.

"Hey! Wait up!" Reef yelled out as he ran past a moment later, the train pulling out as soon as he left the screen.

"The rest of the teams race to catch the next train south," the host finished over a shot of three different taxis racing past the camera.

\

A trendy tune played as the shot cut to the Bloggers in the back of a taxi. Jen was applying make-up while Tom fixed his hair. "The south of France is where the most glamorous people in the world hang out," Tom explained.

"It's like Paris," Jen added. "But with glossier lipstick."

\

"Don't think too hard," Wyatt joked as the shot cut to him and Caitlin in a cab. The blonde's face scrunched up in concentration.

"This is serious Wyatt," she told him. "How do we ask Tom an Jen to form an alliance?"

"We walk up to them," Wyatt replied sarcastically, "and _ask_ them to form an alliance."

"I can't just walk up and ask!" Caitlin replied, horrified.

"Why not?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Caitlin blinked as a flat not played. "I just can't okay!"

\

The standard challenge music started as the shot cut to the Geniuses. "Take Lagrant to Canal," Mary told their driver,

"Canal to Germaine-" Ellody continued,

"-Germain to Balmont-" Mary continued, the camera focusing in on her.

"-Turn left on Lagrant-" Ellody continued, the camera panning over to her.

"-Reverse onto Burreuax-" Mary continued.

"-And U-turn back to Lagrant then head south to Dunkirk!" they finished with eager grins.

"Zut alors!" the driver's voice said. "I know native Parisians that don't know the city that well."

XXX

MARY AND ELLODY: GENIUSES

"We weren't popular in high school," Mary told the camera. "But memorizing the street maps of every urban center is _just_ as fun as going to parties."

"Or dates..." Ellody chimed in with a sad look.

"But all that studying is paying off," Mary told both the camera and her partner. "We can outhink all the other teams."

XXX

Lorenzo stood impatiently at the train station as a profusely sweating Chet met up with him. Chet panted and groaned for a few seconds and Lorenzo blew a raspberry at him.

XXX

CHET AND LORENZO: STEPBROTHERS

"I took the subway," Lorenzo told the camera. "_He_ took a taxi."

"It wasn't as fun without the chance to tell you how _lame_ you are every few minutes," Chet told him.

"_You're_ the lame one," Lorenzo shot back. "And I need to tell you so _you _don't forget!" Chet shoved him, Lorenzo shoved back, and the two once again began to fight.

XXX

"Can you take a picture of us please?" Angel asked their cab driver as the shot cut to her and Bridgette.

"Angel!" Bridgette gasped. "He's driving!"

"Oh," Angel said sadly before perking up and holding her cell phone out. "Then I guess we'll have to do it ourselves. I'll need something to remember being in the most beautiful city in the world with the most beautiful girl in the world."

The footage briefly cut to the the selfie she captured; Angel kissing Bridgette's cheek while Bridgette blushed profusely.

\

The camera cut back to the train station and panned right across the Stepbrothers fighting, the Daters making out, the Goths just standing there, and the Bloggers and Mallrats chatting, before landing on the Geniuses as Noah and Malcolm showed up.

"Hello Noah," Ellody said diplomatically. "You're doing well."

"Ellody," Noah greeted. "Nice to see you again."

XXX

REALITY TV PROS: NOAH AND MALCOLM

"My folks were real traditional," Noah explained to his confused partner. "Ellody and me were arranged to get married before I broke ties with my family."

"How'd she take it?" Malcolm asked.

Noah shrugged. "She didn't want it anymore than I did."

XXX

"As group two waits at the train station," Don narrated over a shot of all seven teams, "group one has just arrived at the beach," the scene flashed to a train leaving the screen while blowing its horn, and revealing the first seven teams on a platform at a nondescript beach.

"There's the Don Box!" Reef called out. The footage skipped ahead to show him, Brody, and Dwayne grab a travel tip and skipped ahead again to show Reef meeting up with Broseph. "Looks like a Botch or Watch," he said. "Whose turn is it?"

"Mine dude," Broseph said. "What do I have to do?"

The camera cut to Steven as he read the tip. "Who wants to swim with," his eyes widened and the camera pulled in close. "_sharks_?!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode returned to a close-up of Don. "In this Botch or Watch challenge whoever _didn't_ draw the caricature in Paris must swim to this part of the Mediterranean," the camera zoomed out to show him on a boat surrounded by a trio of circling dorsal fins with travel tips tied to them, "and retrieve their tip from the dorsal fin of a great. White. Shar-_AAAHHH_!" He was interrupted by a shark jumping onto the boat and snapping its jaws at him.

He recovered as the shark went back into the water, and then walked over to the side of the boat. "Yeah," he said, brandishing his fist. "Try that again and you'll get some of this! Wanna dance with the widow maker?" The shark chomped at him again, and he dove away with a scream again.

\

"Note," Sanders read as the shot cut back to the cadets and a tense tune played. "Eaten teammates will result in immediate disqualification." She gulped.

"Looks like they think of everything," Steven joked as the shot cut to him and Tyler.

\

The footage skipped ahead to a flock of birds flying over the water before panning to the right to show Father and Son, the Best Friends, Surfer Dudes, and Bromance Bros at the edge of the water. "Be right back homie," Devin said cheerily before his smile fell and he added "I hope."

"I totally got this dude," Broseph said to Reef, sharing a quick fist bump.

XXX

BRODY AND GEOFF: BROMANCE BROS

"The Botch or Watch challenges are the _worst_!" Brody told the camera. "I'm so afraid I'm gonna goof up and get us both turfed. But this one," he smiled, "is _perfect_ for me! I was swim team captain _all_ six years of high school."

"Yeah guy," Geoff said, holding his hand out for a fist bump. "Sharks, shmarks."

Brody looked at the fist, then back at the camera with a fearful expression.

XXX

"Swim with _sharks_?" MacArthur asked as the footage cut to a close-up of her face. "Man I really dodged a bullet there."

"Still here," Sanders said, nervously twiddling her fingers.

"Sorry," her partner said. "I'm just glad I'm not you."

\

The challenge music started up as the shot cut to Steven swimming through the water, only to be overtaken by Josee as she lept over him. They both swam out of view and the camera lingered to show Dwayne nervously doggy paddling into it.

Four clips were shown in a split-screen: A dorsal fin swimming toward the right in the top left, Broseph swimming toward the left in the top right, Geoff narrowing his eyes in the bottom left, and Junior looking concerned in the bottom right.

XXX

DWAYNE AND JUNIOR: FATHER AND SON

"Turns out swimming in shark-infested water is tougher on the old body than sitting at a desk all day." Junior gave Dwayne a sarcastic look as he chuckled. "Who knew?"

XXX

The Ice Dancer's leitmotif played as she back flipped out of the water, snagging the tip from a shark as it swam under her. She swam off with out a word and the camera followed her until she passed Steven.

"Wow," he said, the camera lingering as Josee swam away. "Nice move." Steven smirked and swam toward a shark, only to be shock when Brody appeared out of nowhere and belly-flopped onto it.

"Sorry dude!" he said to the jock, plunging into the drink. "Gotta!" He resurfaced and went under again. "Grab the!" and again. "Shark!" and again. "By!" and again. "The horns!" and again. "Gotta go!" the now thoroughly agitated shark swam away with the hapless contestant on its back.

"While the teams from Train number one battle with the top of the aquatic food chain," Don narrated as Devin, Steven, Sanders, and Dwayne swam toward the sharks, "Train number two has arrived," he finished over a shot of a train pulling off to reveal Wyatt and Caitlin with the later looking around in confusion.

"Where's Jen and Tom?" Caitlin asked.

"The Don Box!" Wyatt pointed out, waving for his partner to follow him as he ran off with a "Let's go!" Caitlin ran off as well, followed by the Geniuses, Reality TV Pros, Stepbrothers, Daters, and Goths.

\

The footage cut to a shark swimming underwater as a hand reached for it. The camera pulled back to show the hand belonged to Devin. He smiled, then his eyes widened. The camera pulled out again to show the shark was glaring at him. It snapped at him and he screamed and swam away, letting go of the tip in the process.

The camera followed the tip as it floated to the surface and was quickly scooped up by Dwayne.

XXX

JUNIOR AND DWAYNE: FATHER AND SON

"I'm actually kinda proud of my dad," Junior said with a smile, a touching tune playing in the background. "It takes guts to swim _towards_ a shark."

"Oh Junior," Dwayne chuckled. "This isn't your dad's first shark rodeo pal," Junior's smile fell and he went back to his default concerned/embarrassed expression. "If anything those sharks should've been scared of the Dwayne man!"

XXX

"_You_ draw a caricature, and I have to eat spicy stew _and_ swim with sharks?!" Chet complained as the camera cut to wading in the water. "This is _so_ unfair!"

Lorenzo chuckled from the beach. "Only if you're _you_."

"For some reason I'm not that worried," Malcolm said as the scene cut to him and Noah. "I mean if it was bears then yeah. Those guys really hate me." He smiled. "But "I've never been attacked by a shark before."

"First time for everything," Noah smirked. Malcolm briefly looked scared, then glared at his partner at the sound of the bookworm's chuckling.

A yacht horn caught their attention and the camera's and all looked to the water to show Jen and Tom on a large yacht that was basically a small cruise ship. "Hi everyone!" Tom said as he and Jen waved. "Hope you didn't miss us!"

XXX

TOM AND JEN: FASHION BLOGGERS

"We step off the train in Cannes," Jen said.

"Just to breath it in," Tom finished.

"And right there on the platform-" Jen continued.

"The _Prince_ of _Monaco_!" Tom finished.

"He asked us where we were going," Jen said.

"One thing leads to another," Tom said.

"Yacht ride!" Jen squealed.

"With a Prince!" Tom gushed,

XXX

"Thanks for the ride Your Highness!" Jen said to someone on the boat just before a shark breached high enough to reach them. Tom screamed and jumped into his partner's arms.

"She is beauty, grace, and strength," Jacques narrated as Josee and Broseph swam through the water. Broseph swam out of frame and Josee dove into the water then jumped out gracefully. "Every move like a swan that makes other swans feel ug-_ly_."

The camera cut back to him as he grunted in pain, and the camera pulled back to show an actual swan had bitten him on the butt having taken offence to his remark. He rubbed his behind and glanced at the bird, who just honked angrily at him.

\

The camera flashed over to Junior watching as his father struggled to swim and read the tip. "Go get a bucket!" Dwayne called over the challenge music. "We gotta-" he briefly went under, "we gotta build a castle!"

"Dwayne might be drowning," Don said, the camera quick-panning to the right to show him walking on the beach, "but he's right. For this All-In challenge," he stopped walking and gestured to the side," teams have to build a sand replica of the palace of Versailles," the scene briefly cut to the opulent palace just outside of the French capital.

The scene flashed back to Don. "When local sandcastle prodigy Sandy McCastles," the host continued as he walked over to a small child with a mop of blonde hair covering his eyes, "probably a fake name," Don added under his breath to the boy's irritation, "decides their castle's good enough, he'll hand over their next travel tip!"

\

A pair of black boots was the focus of the next scene change, Sanders flopping in front of them in exhaustion seconds later. "About time," MacArthur said as the camera panned up to show her frowning at her partner. "My grandma can dog paddle faster than you."

\

The tense challenge music started up again as the camera cut to Tom and Chet frantically swimming away from sharks that were chomping at their heels. The camera lingered as they swam out of view and another shark swam into view, Ryan on it's back and trying to force it's jaws closed.

The camera followed Ryan and his shark a little to the left, and lingered as they moved out of view to catch Steven engaged in a boxing match, both human and fish sporting black eyes and various scrapes. The shot soon panned back to the left as Devin surfaces with a tip in hand.

"Woohoo!" he cheered, both arms in the air. "Bringin' it back _alive_!" The music turned deep as a shark surface directly under him. "... that bites..." he muttered.

The music turned tens again as the shot cut to Mary in the water surrounded by two circling sharks. They both moved to attack her only for them and the music to stop sudden;y as the genius smirked. The sharks flailed their fins, and quickly swam away, one of them dropping its clue in the process.

XXX

ELLODY AND MARY: GENIUSES

"No, sharks aren't afraid of me," Mary told the camera as her team's leitmotif began to play. "But they _are_ afraid of magnets."

"Technically," Ellody said, holding up a magnet, "it's not fear."

"Of course not," Mary chuckled. "I was being facetious. Charged metals create a weak electrical field that disrupts a shark's electroreception centers."

"Oh we should explain," Ellody told her partner. "You see shark hunt for their prey by detecting their naturally occurring electrical fields, but it also helps keep them oriented in the water."

"I wish we had a dry erase board," Mary said.

"Speaking of dry," Don interrupted from off-screen. "Can we cut to something a bit more exciting?"

XXX

The scene cut to Devin screaming and swimming away from a shark. "Thank you," Don said via voice-over.

The train was once again seen pulling out of the station, revealing the Sweethearts, Sisters, Mom and Daughter, Adversity Twins, Vegans, Outcasts, Rockers, and Slackers. "The third train has arrived," Don narrated.

\

The footage flashed to the Jocks and Ice Dancers working on their sand castle as Carrie and Devin picked a spot in the background. The camera soon pulled back to show Mary and Ellody picking a spot further away from the others. "And as more teams begin the second challenge," Don continued.

"The Bromance Bros are still trying to finish the first one," the host finished over a shot of Geoff nervously looking out over the water.

"I don't see 'im anywhere," Geoff worried.

The camera cut to an open patch of water, where Brody was frantically swimming away from the shark. "Shark dude," he said. "Can you at least chase me _toward_ the shore?!"

They both swam out of frame, and seconds later a large chomp was heard, followed by Brody's scream.

XXX

SPUD AND ROCK: ROCKERS

"I guess I'll do pretty much anything to win," Rock said as their them began to play. Spud was lightly banging his head to whatever was playing in his headphones with his eyes closed.

"I need the money," he continued, "for my parents. I'm not gettin' any younger and.. they really want me out of their basement. If I win the money, I can build my own basement!"

XXX

The standard tense music played as the camera cut to a dorsal fin sailing through the water, than to an ominous patch of bubbles. The shark reached the bubbles, then surfaced and growled and Crimson just slowly surfaced and peered at the predator.

The shark's eyes widened in fear, then it took the tip off its fin and tossed it to her before swimming away as fast as it could. Crimson just blinked to a slightly eirie sounding note.

\

Stereotypical beach music played over a montage of the teams building their castles; first Stephanie lying on her stomach in the sand as Ryan build their castle with his arms around her, then the stepbrothers tossing sand at one another, and finally Junior and Dwayne smiling as they built.

XXX

JUNIOR AND DWAYNE: FATHER AND SON

"I was worried about Dad before," Junior told the camera, "but now it looks like he's really going for it."

"Building is what men were born to do," Dwayne told the camera.

XXX

"You sure this has to be _big_?" Sanders asked as the camera cut to her standing next to the Cadets' castle, which was just a bit taller than her waist.

"You wanna take a chance on losing?" MacArthur challenged. "We go big or we go home!"

The camera panned to the right tho where Emma and Kitty were building. "Did you hear that?" Emma asked her sister. "Go big or we go home!"

The Geniuses leitmotif played as the camera cut to them scratching out an unseemly amount of equations in the sand.

XXX

MARY AND ELLODY: GENIUSES

"We're scientists," Ellody told the camera. "We know how important the planning stage is."

"Agreed," Mary chimed in. "We're building a sand castle, this isn't kid's stuff."

XXX

"Uh Ellody?" Noah asked as the scene returned to the challenge, Noah and Malcolm now standing next to the Geniuses. "What are you doing?"

"Using scientific data to create the perfect scale model of Versailles for the challenge," Ellody replied without looking at him.

"Okay..." the bookworm said. "But you get this is a race right?" he asked again. "If you do this, you'll probably wind up getting sent home and I don't really want to see you go so soon."

"You, you don't?" Ellody asked, now having stood up and facing her ex-fiance.

"No, I mean. The arrange marriage thing sucked, but I can't lie and say getting to know you was horrible." He shrugged.

"Oh, well," Ellody said with a blush, "thank you. But you of all people know I can't do something if it's not perfect."

Noah scoffed. "Like you don't already have the stats memorized."

Ellody smiled. "Okay Mary," she turned to her partner. Stop creating data. We're winging it!"

"Okay," Mary shrugged.

XXX

NOAH AND MALCOLM: REALITY TV PROS

"I don't get it," Malcolm said. "If we're in a race, why help them?"

"As weird as our situation was, Ellody's the only friend I had before signing up for Total Drama," Noah explained. "I had to help her."

XXX

"Got it!" Rasta cheered as the scene cut to his hand holding a tip. The camera pulled back to show him surrounded by three circling dorsal fins. "Like, you guys are just dolphins right?"

XXX

MARLEY AND RASTA: SLACKERS

"Like I heard the sharks can smell fear," Rasta told the camera.

"No Rasta mon," Marley corrected. "Sharks can smell blood."

"Oh," Rasta said blankly. "Well like good thing I wasn't bleeding."

XXX

The beach tune played once again over a different montage of the teams building their castles; first Angel shaping their small castle before looking at Bridgette. The two shared a loving smile before Bridgette's eyes widened. Both she and Angel looked to see a crab using their castle as a shell and walking away.

Next was the Rockers, Spud buried in the sand up to his neck. A pair of cowboy boots entered the frame and the camera pulled back to show Rock looking at his partner in sheer confusion.

Finally the Adversity Twins. Jay handed Mickey a bucket full of sand and Mickey smiled... before the bucket proved to be too heavy and he fell to the ground with a startled shout.

XXX

EMMA AND KITTY: SISTERS

"I was scared, but I was glad it was me in the water and not Kit," Emma told the camera. "If _anything_ happened to her..." she trialed off.

"Aww," Kitty gushed. "I knew you cared."

"... they'd disqualify us immediately," Emma finished.

Kitty sighed. "Yep. That makes more sense."

XXX

"All the teams have reunited and begun work on their sand chateaus," Don narrated as tense music played and footage from multiple teens was shown in a split screen. The Outcasts on the top, the Surfer Dudes in the bottom left, and the Mallrats in the bottom right.

"_Except_ for Brody and Geoff," the host continued over a shot of Geoff watching the water.

The camera cut to Junior and Dwayne as the music cut out. "Where's the judge?" Junior asked just before the judge appeared. He took one look at their castle, then handed over a travel tip with a wide and toothy grin, exposing his two missing front teeth.

"Yes!" Dwayne cheered to a triumphant tune as he grabbed the tip. "Let's see... Grab a speedboat and follow the GPS to the Chill Zone on the southern tip of... _Iceland_?"

\

"Iceland!" Don repeated as the shot cut to a dock surrounded by blocks of ice. The camera panned to the right to show the host at the Chill Zone, a town of brightly colored wooden houses behind him, "The southernmost dock of this frigid island is the finish line for this segment of the race."

The camera cut in for a close-up. "The last team to meet me here on the Carpet of Completion," the camera zoomed in even more as the dramatic music played. "_Could_ be headed home." The music finished to a flourish.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed to a shot of Chet sighing in exhaustion and sitting on the sand, Lorenzo doing the same moments later. The camera then cut to the Goths as Junior and Dwayne ran past them, The camera followed Father and Son past the Cadets and Sisters and lingered on the Mallrats.

"Aw," Caitlin gushed as she pointed in the direction Dwayne and Junior had come from. "Look at the cute little castle."

"Hold the sandphone," MacArthur said as the camera quick-panned to the castle and back to her. "It _doesn't_ have to be big?!"

"New plan," Emma told Kitty. "It doesn't have to be big."

\

The footage skipped ahead to Dwayne and Junior in a white and orange bottomed speedboat at the docks, several similar boats around them. The engine stuttered and struggled to start as the camera cut in. "Come on!" Junior cried, pointing off toward the right. "Let's grab a different boat!"

"Aw come one," Dwayne said dismissively as the camera cut to him walking over to the boats motor. "You just have to adjust the," he opened the cover of the motor and looked at it in confusion, "choke... thingy... mechanism..."

Junior sighed.

XXX

JUNIOR AND DWAYNE: FATHER AND SON

"My dad tried to attach a bell to my bike once," Junior told the camera. "When he was done the wheels were gone... just... _gone_!" he reiterated while throwing his arms out in bewilderment.

"It was a Swedish bell," Dwayne said, rubbing his son's chin. "_Very_ tricky instructions. Had to take the whole dang thing apart. Hey isn't that the summer you walked everywhere?"

"Yep," Junior said bluntly.

XXX

"I cannot believe the first two boats we picked are broken," Dwayne complained as he and Junior hopped in another boat further up the dock.

"You have to turn the key first," Junior said, "_then_ press the start button." He demonstrated and the boat roared to life.

"Huh," Dwayne said. "Must be one of those Swedish boats."

\

The camera cut to Geoff looking out over the water, then smiling in glee. The shot pulled back even more to show a battered and bruised Brody stumbling out of the water with a tip in hand. "That was crazy wild," he slurred before passing out on the beach.

Sandy McCastles crossed his arms, then handed out a tip. The camera pulled back to show Tom taking the tip as he and Jen smiled.

\

The footage skipped ahead to the open water as the Ice Dancers sped past the camera in their speedboat, followed closely behind by the Fashion Bloggers and the Sweethearts.

A quick pan to the left took the seen to a close-up of a speedboat motor, then the camera zoomed out to show said boat was being driven by the Best Friends. The boat roared to life, and the two cheered and drove off.

The footage skipped ahead again to Carrie and Devin driving in the open water, followed by the Jocks and the Police Cadets, Sanders and MacArthur splashed the camera.

\

When the water on the lens dried away, the scene was taken back to the French docks, where Broseph and Reef were running towards a boat. They hopped in, turned the boat on, and drove away with a hoot and a holler.

The camera lingered however, to catch Noah and Malcolm racing down the dock. Malcolm tripped and fell on his face, but quickly scrambled to his feet and both boys hopped in a boat of their own. Driving off silently.

\

The camera cut to Cody and Beardo smiling as they drove through the water, then panned back to a column of black smoke. "Uh oh," Devin said as the shot zoomed out to show it was the Best Friends boat. "We gotta problem."

Carrie gasped. "What's wrong with the motor?"

"I don't know," Devin answered. "But if I push it anymore, the motor will die!"

"Slow and steady wins the race?" Carrie said with a sheepish smile.

The Cadets passed them by in the background. "You better have a permit to barbecue on that thing!" Sanders playfully mocked.

\

The footage skipped ahead to two pairs of shoes landing on the Carpet of Completion. "Dwayne. Junior," the camera pulled back to show Don addressing the Father and Son. "You're the _first_ to arrive at this Chill Zone."

"Ha ha!" Dwayne cheered. "We are the best!"

"Unfortunately," the host continued pausing to chuckle at the wide eyes of the team, "you broke a rule when you read the travel tip _before_ reuniting with Junior on the beach."

"_What_?!" Dwayne exclaimed. He pulled the host into a side hug and opened his wallet. "Surely we can work something out," he said slyly. "You like coupons? I gotta twenty-five cents off eggie muffins at McDonnoughs."

Don just glared at him and with a buzz the scene briefly cut to a digital clock reading 20:00. "Twenty minute penalty."

\

The camera cut back to the beach to catch the Sisters, Vegans, Mallrats, Adversity Twins, and Mom and Daughter racing off toward the boats. "More teams head to the boats," Don narrated as the camera panned lef to show the Daters and Goths receiving their travel tip.

"But others," the shot cut to Chet and Lorenzo sitting on the beach and laughing about something, "decide to spend time on team building."

"You know it's weird," Chet told his stepbrother. "I thought going to the train station alone would be nice, but... I kinda missed the arguing."

"Yeah me too," Lorenzo agreed. "Does that mean we're..." he gagged and shuddered. "_friends_?"

"Probably," Chet agreed. "Our parents can't know they were right."

\

"Jacques. Josee," Don said as the camera cut to him and the Ice Dancers at the Chill Zone, Dwayne and Junior hanging their heads in the background. "You've come in first."

The Ice Dancers just stood their blowing kisses to the camera. "I expected more insanity from you," the host commented. "It's nice to see you keeping things professional."

XXX

JACQUES AND JOSEE: ICE DANCERS

"We did it!" Jacques cheered as he ran around the interview room, Josee constantly kissing a rabbit's foot in her chair. "We're the best! Champions of the _world_!"

XXX

"Jenifer. Thomas," Don greeted the Fashion Bloggers. "You've arrived in second place.

Jen and Tom squealed.

"However you didn't arrive in Calanque de Maubois by train as instructed. You traveled by yacht. Twenty minute penalty."

The scene once again cut to the 20:00 graphic, complete with buzzer.

XXX

JEN AND TOM: FASHION BLOGGERS

"Whatevs," Tom scoffed. "we rode a yacht."

"And partied with a _prince_," Jen added, "on a yacht."

"Don _so_ wishes he was us," Tom smirked.

XXX

The camera cut to the Slackers running to the Chill Zone. "Rasta and Marley," Don greeted. "You're in second place."

XXX

RASTA AND MARLEY: SLACKERS

"But how did we beat all da udda teams mon?" Marley asked in confusion.

"Like don't look a gift horse in the mouth man," Rasta told his partner.

XXX

"Third," Don told the Police Cadets. Sanders and MacArthur slapped five.

\

The scene cut back to the beach, where Geoff and Brody finally finished their sandcastle and got their tip. "Dude," Brody cried out, "we're dead last!" the shot pulled back to show the various finished sandcastles around them.

The Bromance Bros ran off, and the camera panned to the left to show the Stepbrothers snapped out of their discussion by the cry.

"Oh no," Chet cried. "We spent so much time getting along we forgot to do the challenge!"

"Come on let's hurry!" Lorenzo added. "And by the way, if we lose... I'm gonna be a _massive_ jerk about it!"

"Oh me too," Chet laughed. "You are _so_ my bro!"

XXX

"Fourth!" Don said, the camera cutting to him pointing at a smiling Dwayne and Junior. "Fifth!" he pointed next to the smirking Fashion Bloggers. Cody and Beardo arrived at the dock moments later. "And the Outcasts are in sixth!"

The shot cut back to Geoff and Brody hopping in one of the speedboats. and driving off, not noticing the sparks emanating from their motor. The footage skipped ahead to their boat speeding across the water. "Never! Say! _DIE_!" they cheered.

\

Tense music played as more teams checked in. "Seventh!" The Daters appeared in the top far left of the screen. "Eight!" The Reality TV Pros in to top middle. "Ninth!" The Goths in the top right. "Tenth!" The Geniuses in the bottom left. "Eleventh!" The Sisters in the bottom middle. "Twelfth!" The Sweethearts in the bottom right.

"Reef and Broseph," Don said as the Surfer Duded were shown panting at the carpet. "You are in Thirteenth!"

"Fourteenth!" Kelly and Taylor appeared in the top right. "Fifteenth!" Laurie and Miles in the top middle. "Sixteenth!" Steven and Tyler in the top left. "Seventeenth!" Mickey and Jay in the bottom left. "Eighteenth!" Rock and Spud in the bottom middle. "Nineteenth!" Wyatt and Caitlin in the bottom right.

\

The music turned sombre as the shot cut to Carrie and Devin slowly making their way to Iceland. "Looks like we might be headed home," Devin told his partner.

XXX

CARRIE AND DEVIN: BEST FRIENDS

"It's so unfair that we could be sent home over a faulty motor and not something we did wrong." Devin sighed and put a hand on Carrie's shoulder. "We make a great team."

"Yeah," Carrie said, leaning into the touch. "We really do."

XXX

The shot cut to Geoff and Brody cheering as the drove through the water, then to a close-up of their motor as it sparked and blew its cover off.

"Aw man," Geoff griped. "Now what?"

XXX

BRODY AND GEOFF: BROMANCE BROS

"I never should've let myself get stuck in that shark's mouth!" Brody lamented. "Now we're gonna get sent home and it's all my fault." He slumped over and palmed his face. "That was my biggest fear."

"Hey," Geof said sharply. "We _win_ as a team. We _lose_ as a team. We're a team and... I don't really know where I'm goin' with this because..." he slumped over. "I'm really bummed right now."

XXX

The scene cut to Brody inspecting the boat's motor and tentatively reaching out to it. He touched it and got shocked, sending the boat forward a few yards.

"Dude!" Geoff cheered as Brody groaned in pain. "That worked! Do it again!"

Brody obliged, and the boat was sent forward a few more yards.

The footage pulled pack as Brody continually electrocuted himself to send the boat forward, tense music playing.

Carrie gasped as the scene cut to a head-on shot of her, a group of colorful Icelandic houses behind her. "Homie!" she pointed to the island. "That's Iceland!"

"There it is!" Geoff cried out as Brody shocked himself again.

"I can see the dock!" Devin said as the camera cut to him and Carrie.

"Just a few more jolts and we're golden!" Geoff cried as the camera cut to him and Brody.

\

"The Chill Zone could really use a sofa or something," Don said to someone off-camera as the shot cut back to him. "It's all I'm saying," he was distracted by the sound of footsteps. "Oh! Here they are."

The camera zoomed out to show Carrie and Devin at the Carpet with wary and nervous faces. "Carrie. Devin," the host greeted. "Twentieth place."

The Best Friends cheered and ran off, and Geoff and a thoroughly singed and literally smoking Brody arrived not long after.

"It's okay Don we already know," Geoff sighed. "Just blast us with the bad news."

"Geoff. Brody," the host said. "I'm sorry, but you two are..." he paused to draw out the tension, "second last. Aka Twenty-first place. Aka still in the race!"

Geoff cheered. "You hear that bro?" he asked his partner, slapping him on the back and getting electrocuted in the process. "Ow."

\

Lorenzo and Chet were frantically trying to build their sandcastle as the shot cut to them. The wind kicked up around them, causing them to look up and see Don in Total Drama's red helicopter.

"Ahoy Stepbrothers!" Don shouted to the two boys. "I'm afraid the other teams have reached the Chill Zone. You! Are _out_! of the race! I'm in a helicopter! This is so cool!" he cheered as he flew away, and the camera cut to the Stepbrother slumping over in defeat.

\

"Man," Lorenzo said over a clip of his and Lorenzo's introductory fight was shown, "getting eliminated sucks."

"At least we don't hate each other anymore," Chet added over a clip of the two arguing in the stairwell of the CN Tower.

"You know what we should do? Make out own race show" Lorenzo said as the footage switched to them walking down the beach at dusk.

"Yeah but they're all ninjas," Chet said.

"And robots," Lorenzo said.

"Yeah, ninja robots," Chet said. "You are _so_ my bro."

"No, you're _my_ bro." Lorenzo said.

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note Post Script:** And we have our fist major canon divergence. The stepbrothers get sent home way earlier than before. Why them? Because they annoyed me to no end and it only got worse once they started getting along. Also I changed what made them get along. Rather than the rehash of the movie Stepbrothers, they just realize that their constant fighting _is_ their way of getting along. It may seem a little sudden, but it is what it is.

Now for the Geniuses staying. As you can see, I have a plot idea for Ellody at least. Which I shamelessly admit I got from watching The Big Bang Theory. I won't rehash the start of it, but they're former engagement will play a part in Noah's overall plot. Don't worry, it won't interfere with Nemma.

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

**RDP: TRR ELIMINATION TABLE:**

**24th Place:** _Band Geeks_ \- Andrew and Elliot

**23rd Place:** _Tennis Rivals_ \- Gerry and Pete

**22nd Place:** _Stepbrothers_ \- Chet and Lorenzo


End file.
